Penguin Sex

...is a chapter title in Blue Like Jazz, but really I just couldn't think of a good title for this post. Sorry, this post has nothing to do with sex or penguins or why these animals never wait til marriage to have it. This post is about some wise words that were said to me recently (by Greg Martin and Derek Webb) regarding an all too common mentality Christians have.

It is easy for myself and other Christians to have this mentality: "I don't need to work extremely hard at something because my identity is not in my performance or my work....it's in the Gospel." In other words, this mentality is expressed "I can do a sub-par job at whatever it is I do because I'm a Christian" or "because there are things more important to me in life, it's OK to do cruddy work at my current job." All the while, we're trying to be a good witness to the world we live in.

We think if we do a normal everyday job, then we better be witnessing to everyone since we didn't do the more holy thing and become a missionary. You don't have to tape Bible verses to pieces of plumbing to justify being both a plumber and a Christian. You do your work with excellence and let that speak to your worldview. It's when you do your job with excellence that people respect what you have to say. When you're a lousy worker, it disparages your witness. If anything, Christians should be the best workers because we work diligently unto the LORD and not just because our bosses will chastise us if we don't.

Got Toilet Paper?
When I don't know what to post, I take surveys.

After polling over 70 people (of course the majority are males due to the awkwardness experienced discussing this matter with females), the average WPD (wipes per dump) is 5.2*. I shamefully admit to you that my average WPD is a lofty 7.5. Man, I am messy.




* - This includes discounting the outliers: six females claimed their WPD was zero because they don't have bowel movements. Although I want badly to believe them, I can't risk skewing my survey results.

Pretty cool, eh?

My favorite artist Derek Webb and his wife (also an amazing singer/songwriter) Sandra McCracken give me a shout out. Thanks Melissa Q.

While I'm at it, some great Derek Webb quotes. Man, he gets the Gospel.

"There can be nothing added, nor anything taken away from the perfect salvation we have in Jesus. We cannot add our best intentions, most righteous deeds, or even tears over our own sin, all we have is Jesus, and without Him we have nothing".

"The Christian Life is not about sinning less, but about repenting more."

"David Dickson, who was asked on his deathbed how it was with his soul. His response: 'I have taken my good deeds and my bad deeds and thrown them together in a heap. Then I have fled from both of them to Christ, and in Him I have peace.'"

“Better to be known first as a good artist than as a ‘Christian’ artist, as your good art can lend credibility to your witness while explicit art done poorly is more likely to disparage your witness.”

“As we struggle to remain both relevant and faithful to the world that we’re called to love and engage, we, especially as Christian artists in the church, must lose our preoccupation and concern with trying to get songs on the radio, following industry trends and huge quarterly sales and start learning how to simply make good art.”

"There are two great lies that i’ve heard:
“the day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die”
and that Jesus Christ was a white, middle-class republican
and if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him." (King and a Kingdom)

"I am a whore i do confess
but i put you on just like a wedding dress and i run down the aisle; i’m a prodigal with no way home but i put you on just like a ring of gold
and i run down the aisle to you" (Wedding Dress)

Microwave Madness

Yeah I just learned how a microwave works the other day. Apparently, the microwave just causes the atoms of the food to vibrate rapidly which makes it heat up. Craziness.

And some microwave tricks for the whole family:
1) put one Easter Marshmellow Peep in (it turns into a real duck)
2) put a CD that you don't want in the microwave shiny-side-up for 3 seconds (sheer coolness occurs)
3) put popcorn kernals in a concealed bag in for 2 minutes (it comes out popcorn!)
4) stick a fork inside a paper bag doused with gasoline and watch house go down in flames (must have a house you don't want anymore)


yeah after a week of no posts, this is what i finally come up with?

Best Play of the Year

Yeah if you didn't catch the ESPYs last night or if you didn't watch Sportscenter during the entire Fall season, here's a replay of one of the best catches of all time. The most bizarre thing though is that this much talent came from Alabama.

Quick stories from Cherokee

I just went to Cherokee, North Carolina for two days. I've been up there working (with my church from PTC) with the Cherokee teens for each of the past 3 summers. This blog is no place for long-winded stories. So here's some quick one liners.

I used to be really indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

No, not those one kind of one liners. Although feel free to use that line on adults over 70. They'll think you're hilarious. And it's possibly a good pick-up line if they're single. Anwways, back to the short one line stories about Cherokee.

They have child care facilities at the high schools because almost every attractive 14 year old has a baby.

The male teenagers are either bullies or socially abused boys who never talk.

Many of them drop out of high school and the Cherokee school system is among the state's worst.

Very few there know how to be a good parent, raise their kids, discipline them, or show they love them. (they've never had an example of a good parent because for years white men would take their kids when the kids were 3 and didn't return them to the parents until they were 18. Then those 18yr olds have kids and the cycle continues.)

A good majority of the kids live in Children homes, or with their grandmother or aunt.

Yes, this community is only 2.5 hours from Athens.

The churches in Cherokee are very legalistic.

So when we don't condemn or judge the teens for smoking, they're like "are you serious?...you're church people...you're supposed to get mad at us for this stuff."

There's a 15yr old girl who cries every time we leave because she says "we are her only friends."


Fortunately there's always good news when the Gospel enters in. They all know what Jesus did, but it doesn't mean anything coming from white people. That is, white people like us who come from comfortable, wealthy homes and cannot identify with what these kids go through. The Cherokee kids think "Alright these guys are nice, and pretend to care about our lives, but we doubt they really care...they're just trying to fulfill a relgious requirement." But every year, we keep coming back. They see the same faces that were there with them last year and the year before that. And we keep getting down into the cruddiness of their lives with them. And we keep up with them through the year via letters. Hopefully their response to all their skepticism will someday be "Yes...I guess they do care. Yes, they are for real. And it's because Jesus is real."


It hit me last night: this is no longer a mission trip that's great to go on once every summer. This is now a ministry.

God pursues the ungodly

Ben Coppedge, the future RUF intern, shared an experience I myself often have. I fail daily. But fortunately, my guilt does not last long. Seeing my spiritual suckiness actually often ends in great joy and peace. He articulated it better than I could ever hope to:

As for me...I'm undone all over again when I look up from the pigsty of my defiled heart and see a familiar Shepherd who will not leave me regardless. My initial response to my sin is usually to tense up, feeling the sentence of guilt and condemnation that my conscience always hands down. So I run to hide thinking I am again in the presence of the Holy Judge. But in the course of running away, through one way or another, this Shepherd always directs my eyes to His hands...His scars...and in a rush of gut-wrenching gladness I remember that I'm not being pursued by a Judge, but by the Triune God who still seeks and saves the lost, even when they keep running away.

Boy Hits Car!!

One of my favorite bands of all time came to Athens last night, Boy Hits Car. Yeah you've probably never heard of them, they're from California. And yet, during my Junior and Senior year of high school, we had Boy Hits Car day where myself and 7 other guys would wear our Boy Hits Car t-shirts. Yep, pretty much the majority of us 8 guys reunited last night for an amazing showing.

Let me try to describe to you this concert:
1) First of all, a guy has to come on stage first to warn the crowd and audience of the extreme intensity level of this band.
2) I wear a cruddy shirt knowing it will get destroyed.
3) Everyone is soaked in sweat. And everyone is pushing, shoving, jumping into each other.
4) I make sure to not pop any zits the day of the concert so as not to open a wound that other people's disease infested sweat may enter.
5) I make sure to take everything out of my pockets because there is a good chance I could be upside down at some point during the concert.
6) A "Boy Hits Car" chant erupted several times during the two opening bands (disrespectful, but hey, i didn't start it)
7) Cregg, the lead singer, always does a flip into the crowd on the last song. There was nothing high to jump off of so he had to stand on a fan's shoulders. (Seriously watch this video that automatically loads onto the webpage).

And by the way, he easily is THE most humble person I have ever met.

Soccer, we could have been great friends

Martin Davis two weeks ago: "I wish America would get on board with the rest of the world and realize soccer is an amazing sport."

Martin Davis two minutes ago: "Oh soccer, how you are laden with flaws!"


Believe it or not, the American soccer comentators (who once defined what a corner kick was for the viewers at home) have some very good points to say about how soccer's gone bad:

So much of the game is riding on how well you can fake being fouled. (Portugal for instance is the most guilty<---check this out.)
How many games have been won 1-0 based on a penalty kick. FOULS SHOULD NOT BE WINNING GAMES! This is why everyone's taking dives to draw fouls. The reason why this is so much of a problem is because there's not enough scoring. Pretending to get fouled is not that big of a deal in basketball or football, because there is enough scoring to counteract the mistake. But in soccer, it often costs you the entire game.
Soccer isn't as great as I thought it was................but it easily is the best game to play on video games. Fact, not opinion.


But, I still think it's an awesome thing in that it unites people in their respective countries like nothing else.

What’s wrong with me?

I think I’m the most insecure, self-conscious scaredy-cat I know. And it makes me hate myself. I’ll explain.

This morning we had a classroom debate (class size: 35, guy/girl ratio: 1:1, temperature: 70 degrees). Every time I spoke my heart was beating rapidly, my voice was shaky, I could not think clearly. No, it wasn't an intimidating audience. No, there wasn't a hot girl I was trying to impress. It was a completely normal setting...the nervousness was all due to me. Here’s the point: I’m 22! I’ve been in the classroom setting for over 19 years, participating in numerous discussions, questions, etc. I’ve had to raise my hand and give my opinions on things probably over 12,500 times. This is getting old.

Even last night at RUF large group Bible study, when I spoke up (3 or 4 times) or asked a question, I experienced the same nervousness as I do in the classroom.

And I’ve had all the practice in the world when it comes to speaking in front of people. I’ve gotten to lead over 20 small group Bible studies, taught eight 30+ min. lessons to youth groups, taught College Sunday School (around 20 peers in the group) 7 or 8 times, and I’ve had to get up in front of over 100 people about ten times. They say that the more practice you get doing oral presentations, speeches, etc., the less nervous you get. How much more practice can I get??? I'm starting to give up hope.

My problem is not getting any better. My question is why? Yeah my fear of man is much greater than it needs to be, but I don't know how to change it. Maybe I need to just grow up and be a man. But how do you do that? Do I need to go kill a squirrel w/ my bare hands and eat it? Put myself in the position for public speeches so I can get over it? Already done it. Any suggestions on how I can stop sucking?

Girls, take heed to this message

I got to see the sneak preview of Pirates of the Caribbean last night. It pays to have a roommate who's sister works at Beechwood.

My review:
Long
Plot never develops
Not as funny
Kiera Knightly got hotter somehow
So much needless action that it's actually boring
But then again, everyone else I saw it with liked it more than I did
It's actually not as bad as I've painted it to be....I was just disappointed.

I think the moral of the story that the producers were trying to get across was obvious:
Having some meat on your bones (Kiera Knightly in Pir. of Cari. II) is much more attractive than being really skinny (Kiera Knightly in Pir. of Cari. I). Girls, let that be a lesson. Don't let the magazines tell you lies!

Depression (part 1)

Yeah I went in and out of depression throughout the past 3 or 4 months. But that's not what this post is about. It is my struggle with depression that has lead to my concern for others in this area.

I watched the movie Prozac Nation. It sucks. But anyways it ended w/ this fact:
OVER 300 MILLION PRESCRIPTIONS FOR PROZAC ARE FILED EACH YEAR IN THE UNITED STATES.
Holy crap! There's 256 million people in the US already. I'm assuming each prescription lasts for a month. That's a ton of people, and that's not including the other anti-depressant drugs that people are on. America, what the piss is wrong with you?! Why is everyone so depressed?????

Facts/Stories that I believe shed light on this travesty:
When the group from RUF went to Belize this is one of the stories they told:
The kids and families are so happy there. The kids wear the same shirt every day of the week b/c that's all they have. The poor families that live in two-room houses live in the same neighborhoods as the rich which seems like that atmosphere would breed envy and covetousness. Yet the families and their kids are content. It's like they don't know any different.

The world's poorest countries have the lowest suicide rates. Of course, America has one of the highest rates per capita. In my opinion, it is because the South American and African countries are more family oriented, and they live less stressful lives because their lives are simpler.

I think Peggy Noonan hit the nail on the head:
“Our ancestors believed in two worlds, and believed THIS world to be the solitary, poor nasty one. Our generation is among the first to believe that we can find our happiness here completely on earth. And our search for it has actually produced unhappiness. The reason is this: if you do not believe in an other, higher world, then you think that this place (earth) is your only hope of happiness; then when you are denied happiness in this world, you aren’t just disappointed, you’re in despair.”

Remember the book King Solomon (known to be one of the wisest kings ever) wrote? He explained how he had everything: servants, musicians at his beck and call, popularity, friends, abundant and kinky sex, the best food ever, and anything money could buy. And his response was: "all of this is meaningless... I hate life." His conclusion to his problem: seek after the things of God not the things of men. May we strive against our natural flesh to believe that this is true.

Underrated Movies

Fallen............Denzel Washington; about demons
The Last Castle............some corny acting, but good plot, takes place in a prison; Robert Redford
Family Man.............Nicholas Cage; makes me want to have a family
Match Point............most stressful movie ever; but worth it in the end; very original plot
Emporer's New Groove.......even after the 9th time of watching it, i'm still finding brilliant hilarity
Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind......one of the most realistic views on relationships I've seen in a movie
Maverick.........Mel Gibson; just a fun movie
To End All Wars..........how was this not popular??
The Sound of Music (1967)...........now that I'm older, I like it for much more than just the hot babes


This post will have to do until I start having a more profound thought-life.

First blog post ever

First of all, who in the world is going to read this?
My overestimated guess is: 3, each frequenting my blog once a month.
(i don't have 3 people in mind, i'm mainly thinking of 3 random people bored on the internet who happen to pass by on their way to a porn site)
oh, and Andrew Mulkey might visit a few times only because I said I'd do this if he did.

Here's another problem:
Potentially, there could be family members reading this, my good friends, my aquaintances, my fellow Christian brothers and sisters, and my non-Christian friends. I love them all and God bless them for actually reading my blog. But here's where the dilemma lies:
How personal do I get if my family is reading this?
If I talk about Jesus and the work of the Gospel in my life will that bore my non-Christian friends? Will they hate me for it? Or even worse, never view my blog again?????
How much will I censor what I really want to say because I fear what others (both friends and aquaintances and family) will think of me?

I think this is my answer:
I've got to just be who I am regardless. Maybe that's the point of a blog...not writing to entertain others but writing to express your true self. I sound corny. Enough of this.

Beware, I also overuse the colon(:)