Just trying to remember funny moments

Betsy Desch: Want to hold Howie?
Martin: Sure, but I suck at baby-holding.
Tommy: It's no big deal. If you drop him, she can always make another one.


Martin: who wrote Handel's Messiah?
Joseph: Messiah


Tommy: I'm not a redneck. I don't do hunting or fishing. I don't have trucks on my lawn. I'm not attracted to my cousins.........and my cousins are HOT!


Martin: Thanks for calling Penske, this is Martin how can I help you?
Ticked off customer who rents trucks out of Birmingham, not Atlanta: Hey I keep getting calls from people to pay my invoices, but I pay them after 30 days every time. This is ridiculous! I want to talk to the owner of Penske!
Martin: The owner of Penske??
TOCWRTOOBNA: yes, whoever owns Penske Truck Leasing LLP, I want to talk to him!
Martin: hahahaha


Peter (to random customer at check-out counter): What's this?
Customer: It's toothpaste.
Peter: Toothpaste eh? I've heard of that.


Our competition's team name at trivia night: "Barbie never got pregnant because Ken always came in another box."
(perverted yes, but you have to admit that's witty)