I hope they don't have kids

We have no clue the story behind this car we saw in the parking lot, so we made some educated guesses.

My fictitious caption to the story:
Derek Bauer, owner of a local lobster rubber-band manufacturing plant, will soon be ticked that some alleged female has mistaken his car for Mark's.

My roommate's fictitious caption to the story:
Mark, the ever grammatical elitist, left his wife not so much for the vandalistic display of hate, but because he could not relish the fact that his own spouse would leave a question mark off a blatantly interrogative sentence.