How are we supposed to take compliments?
I ask again..How are we supposed to take compliments?
We usually react one of several ways when complimented:
1) Deny the compliment:
"You're amazing at tickling people."
"No, I'm not. There are so many better ticklers out there."
We poo-poo the compliment to appear humble, or because we don't know what else to say.
2) Gratitude:
"You're amazing at tickling people."
"Thanks. You don't know how encouraged I am to here that."
Although we may be hesitant to say thanks because that might communicate that we are aware of our gift.
3) Change subject or make a joke out of it.
"You're amazing at tickling people."
"Your MOM's amazing at tickling." (this isn't really supposed to make sense; this is just an example; no sexual inuendo here)
We are uncomfortable w/ the compliment, so joking about it makes the mood more comfortable.
I have issues with responses 1) and 3). Isn't downgrading or denying a compliment lying? For instance, if you are great at guitar, you pretty much know that you have some skill in that area. So if you say you suck at it, I'm going to think "you're just saying that. You don't really think that or you wouldn't play in front of people. There's no way that you are unaware of your talent unless you're ignorant and stupid." Yet this is our tendency whenever we are complimented. I think it's because we are so afraid of coming across as arrogant since we know deep down that we most likely deserved and expected that compliment.
There's got to be a better way of handling compliments other than false humility or awkward avoidance. We should recognize that God has graciously gifted us, instead of acting like he hasn't. And if any compliments are owed, it's to Him, not us. I think a solution is that when we are complimented, we humbly thank them, as we mentally thank God. That way, we're not being fake; they realize we appreciate the compliment; and thanking God allows it to not go to our heads as we enjoy Him more. (However, actually saying "No, don't compliment me. Thank and praise God that he gifted me" will come off holier-than-thou and you will be slapped)
We usually react one of several ways when complimented:
1) Deny the compliment:
"You're amazing at tickling people."
"No, I'm not. There are so many better ticklers out there."
We poo-poo the compliment to appear humble, or because we don't know what else to say.
2) Gratitude:
"You're amazing at tickling people."
"Thanks. You don't know how encouraged I am to here that."
Although we may be hesitant to say thanks because that might communicate that we are aware of our gift.
3) Change subject or make a joke out of it.
"You're amazing at tickling people."
"Your MOM's amazing at tickling." (this isn't really supposed to make sense; this is just an example; no sexual inuendo here)
We are uncomfortable w/ the compliment, so joking about it makes the mood more comfortable.
I have issues with responses 1) and 3). Isn't downgrading or denying a compliment lying? For instance, if you are great at guitar, you pretty much know that you have some skill in that area. So if you say you suck at it, I'm going to think "you're just saying that. You don't really think that or you wouldn't play in front of people. There's no way that you are unaware of your talent unless you're ignorant and stupid." Yet this is our tendency whenever we are complimented. I think it's because we are so afraid of coming across as arrogant since we know deep down that we most likely deserved and expected that compliment.
There's got to be a better way of handling compliments other than false humility or awkward avoidance. We should recognize that God has graciously gifted us, instead of acting like he hasn't. And if any compliments are owed, it's to Him, not us. I think a solution is that when we are complimented, we humbly thank them, as we mentally thank God. That way, we're not being fake; they realize we appreciate the compliment; and thanking God allows it to not go to our heads as we enjoy Him more. (However, actually saying "No, don't compliment me. Thank and praise God that he gifted me" will come off holier-than-thou and you will be slapped)
posted by Martin | 10:47 AM
2 Comments:
Martin! I totally understand your prespective on compliments. They are so uncomfortable sometimes and how we seek to avoid dealing with them in order not to be arrogant. I pray that God would allow me to honor him through the gifts he hath given.
now maybe you'll thank me when i compliment you on your fine physique.
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