Thoughts on being annoying

Annoying people... or normal people who do unintentional annoying things......we all know a few of them. How many of them do you think are aware of the extent of their own annoying habit, tendency, or state of being?? My guess is less than 5%. This is a tragedy.

Let's take Kevin for instance. Kevin would go visit friends in their respective college dorm rooms. He would always overstay his welcome. He's the guy who says "Oh you need to study? That's fine, I'll just watch TV in your room." He just doesn't get it, and as a consequence, his friends talk bad about him behind his back. They avoid him more than invite him. He's losing more friends than gaining them.
Why it's a tragedy: I bet Kevin would and could easily stop if he somehow knew he did this. He's losing friends because no one is thoughtfully bold enough to let him know.

Let's also take Neal. Neal has a habit of cleaning out his ears while talking to people. Then placing the earwax in a close by napkin/tissue/denim jeans. For some reason, it hasn't occurred to him that other people can see him. People are grossed out a tad. He wonders why he can't get dates.
Why it's a tragedy: If he knew people were grossed out, he would and could stop. He's losing stock with the ladies b/c no one is thoughtfully bold enough to let him know.


From what I've seen, we deal with Kevin and Neal usually one of several ways: (listed by percentage of people who use them)

91%
1) Ignore them or avoid them and hope they go away or stop doing what they're doing. Then go complain about them to others.
(My assessmentation: this is the worst response b/c the cruelest thing to do would be to let the annoying person suffer many more years of rejection instead of sacrificing a few minutes of awkwardness to make them aware.)

7%
2) Tease them about it; comes off as "I notice this, but I'm not too bothered by it"
(My assessment.: this response is less hurtful because it communicates that it's not that serious, but runs the risk of them not really fathoming their quirk since it is made light of (Personally, I prefer to use this response, and prefer this response used on me.))

3%
3)Point out their annoyingness or their annoying quirk in a complaining way.
(My assess.: inconsiderate, insensitive, and probably harmful in the short run, but at least possibly helpful in the long term)

1%
4) Gently point it out, knowing that it hurts to hear it, but it needs to be said for their sake.
(My ass.: still hurtful, but the message is more clear, and it shows you care about them enough to risk uncomfortableness)

(yes that totals 102%. blame inflation)

If I had some traits that were incredibly annoying to most, I'd want to know about it regardless of how much it'd 'hurt my feelings'. I can't change if I don't know it exists. I'm blind to it unless someone tells me or makes fun of me for it. Since I live in the south, no one will make fun of me for it, so I need someone to tell me. If Kevin and Neal are blind to their own annoyingness, how do I know I'm not blind to my self and in the same boat with them??