Roommate or Roommette?
(real quick, if you're not in the mood to read this long post, read the last paragraph...that's really what I'm trying to say)
I'm confused. Why is a Christian guy not supposed to live w/ three Christian female friends, none of whom have any romantic interest in each other? We look down upon that in the Christian community. My question is why?
Is it because they would be putting themselves in temptation's way? Maybe. But then would it be wrong to go to Six Flags on a hot summer day where you could be tempted to lust at the girls there?
Is it because we are supposed to live above reproach? Yes, it says there shouldn't even be a hint of sexual immorality among you. But what defines "hint" when you know there's nothing going on? For instance, would it be wrong to go over to a girl's house alone just to pick up some brownies? Someone somewhere could think that since it was just us two, we were probably getting it on.
Is it because we may hurt our witness? How would it affect non-Christians' view of us when they don't understand what would be wrong w/ it in the first place? How would it affect other Christians' view of us? Well, if your Christian friend saw you walk out of the girl's house at 8am, he or she could think you have been up to no good w/ a girl in that house. And now that poor niave Christian thinks it's OK to sleep w/ girls before marriage. Or he just thinks you are not walking w/ the Lord and so you lose your influence in that person's life. 1) a young Christian that is that easily influenced should be asking others before drawing quick conclusions anyways; 2) ISN'T IT SAD THAT WE AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME THE WORST OF OTHER CHRISTIANS BEFORE WE GIVE THEM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. It seems like we wouldn't have this problem of hurting our witness to each other if we weren't pharisees that are quick to judge but people characterized by grace.
Yes I actually believe that in general we shouldn't shack up w/ our Christian friends of the opposite sex. Girls make bad roommates anyways from what I hear. In case you weren't paying attention two sentences ago, I'm not arguing that living w/ members of the opposite sex is a good thing. So what's my point? In this post, I'm just trying to get to the bottom of why we really abstain from it. We need be analyzing and questioning our actions, why we do the things we do and why we abstain from certain things, instead of accepting it as fact just because it's the "Christian" thing to do or because we don't want to rock the Christian boat.
This is my longest post yet I believe. I'm going to go pee now.
(real quick, if you're not in the mood to read this long post, read the last paragraph...that's really what I'm trying to say)
I'm confused. Why is a Christian guy not supposed to live w/ three Christian female friends, none of whom have any romantic interest in each other? We look down upon that in the Christian community. My question is why?
Is it because they would be putting themselves in temptation's way? Maybe. But then would it be wrong to go to Six Flags on a hot summer day where you could be tempted to lust at the girls there?
Is it because we are supposed to live above reproach? Yes, it says there shouldn't even be a hint of sexual immorality among you. But what defines "hint" when you know there's nothing going on? For instance, would it be wrong to go over to a girl's house alone just to pick up some brownies? Someone somewhere could think that since it was just us two, we were probably getting it on.
Is it because we may hurt our witness? How would it affect non-Christians' view of us when they don't understand what would be wrong w/ it in the first place? How would it affect other Christians' view of us? Well, if your Christian friend saw you walk out of the girl's house at 8am, he or she could think you have been up to no good w/ a girl in that house. And now that poor niave Christian thinks it's OK to sleep w/ girls before marriage. Or he just thinks you are not walking w/ the Lord and so you lose your influence in that person's life. 1) a young Christian that is that easily influenced should be asking others before drawing quick conclusions anyways; 2) ISN'T IT SAD THAT WE AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME THE WORST OF OTHER CHRISTIANS BEFORE WE GIVE THEM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. It seems like we wouldn't have this problem of hurting our witness to each other if we weren't pharisees that are quick to judge but people characterized by grace.
Yes I actually believe that in general we shouldn't shack up w/ our Christian friends of the opposite sex. Girls make bad roommates anyways from what I hear. In case you weren't paying attention two sentences ago, I'm not arguing that living w/ members of the opposite sex is a good thing. So what's my point? In this post, I'm just trying to get to the bottom of why we really abstain from it. We need be analyzing and questioning our actions, why we do the things we do and why we abstain from certain things, instead of accepting it as fact just because it's the "Christian" thing to do or because we don't want to rock the Christian boat.
This is my longest post yet I believe. I'm going to go pee now.
posted by Martin | 1:52 PM
5 Comments:
I would vote against shacking up with someone of the opposite sex due to the fact that you would probably end up sharing beds at some point. You and I both know most guys, ok every guy struggles with lust and there is no way anyone could tell me that a girl you could find remotely attractive would not, over time, make you want to climb in bed with her. You would see her in what she sleeps in(could be a lot or could a little). I just think it’s a bad idea.
I say all that because in college I wrestled with moving in with a friend who’s parents owned a house near school and I would have had free rent. I had to come to the conclusion it wasn’t a good idea.
And you know its not always a bad thing do something because of how people view us, I don’t have meals with women alone, just because I don’t want people to think I am cheating on my wife. I wouldn’t cheat on my bride but people’s opinions do matter to some extent.
Ok this is the longest comment of all time. Sorry.
i went back and edited my post since I think my main purpose in it got lossed on my excessive arguments.
aaron i concur. i think it's definitely the wiser thing to do.
but ya know the sinful guy in me REALLY wanted to room with the girl. Who knows what my life would have been like if i had shacked up with her.
Hey, Martin, I agree that it's wise not to be in a roommate situation with someone you're not married to. One big reason is that, even if you don't find any of the three of them attractive, nor they you, by living together you will get to know them in their intimate environments, there when each other's guard is down, and if all y'all's equipment is in proper working order (i.e., you're not homosexually oriented), you will try to shag at least one of the three women. That's how God made us.
So, no non-marital cohabitation.
Great blog, BTW.
Post a Comment
<< Home