MARTIN'S SOCKS and what rocks them

I'm done

2008-09-06T16:26:00.003-04:00

As much as I've enjoyed utilizing this blog as an outlet to post thoughts that would rarely come up in normal conversation yet must get off my bosom, the blog has come to an end. There are better things to do with time. People to invest in, books to read, tanning beds to lie in, christmas thank-you notes to write, teeth to brush, olympics to watch on repeat, pyramid schemes to get involved in, and other much better blogs to read. I feel like I've wasted 80% of my free time over the past year, and now with my new job (i forgot to blog about my promotion), I have much much less. Although a useful outlet, this blog also can feel like a responsibility. Not because people demand posts, but because I demand affirmation.....the need to put something out there and it not be rejected (most of the time). I am unable to blog and not have that lingering in the background behind every post. It's time to let it go. May none of us waste our lives serving ourselves. God bless. Hugs not drugs. Keep in touch. Go dawgs.

-Martin

Anti- FishMagnet

2008-08-23T15:50:00.001-04:00

Why would you put the Christian fish on the back of your car? Seriously, what is your reason. I am against it in pretty much all forms. Here’s why:

The Cons:
1) NO ONE drives good enough to represent Christ
2) When you by chance slip up and drive poorly, it’s mainly noticed by people behind you (where the fish is); when you are a considerate driver, thinking of others before yourself, it’s mainly noticed by people who are now in front you of (where the fish ain’t). So either have the fish over your front light beams, or not at all.
3) It doesn’t send a message. It is merely a label that could mean one of twenty different things to the onlooker. If it doesn’t send a message, what’s the point? (Although the Christian “Truth” fish that eats the “Darwin” fish does send a message)
4) It doesn’t mean the person follows Jesus. Think about this: if you were a con-artist or a dishonest business owner....wouldn’t you put a fish on your car to better deceive people?
5) Your car is now harder to sell with a fish logo forever branded on your car (even if you remove the magnet, the coloration is different due to the sun)

The Pros:
1) It can encourage other Christians. I’m sure some Christians will see that fish and be like “Hey, there’s another brother/sister in Christ....maybe.”
2) I can’t think of any more. But the pros definitely do not outweigh the damage done by the cons.

(they parked on the line)

Conspiracy

2008-08-17T20:26:00.001-04:00

Myself when I was 8 years old: "I will never be friends with someone who cusses."

After recalling this memory, I have three thoughts:
1) My how things have changed
2) What a lame-o. Why didn't he get beat up more.
3) How come I was convinced that the greatest sin one could commit was saying a cuss word? And even so, why was I convinced that being a friend to sinners (as if i wasn't one) was bad? Oh yeah, I went to a Christian school.....And I was 8.

But still, that makes me disappointed in my church, my school, and somewhat my parents that the Gospel was so rarely taught, that I could come away making such a bold statement. I'm sure that if there was more of an emphasis on being taught the Gospel, I may have thought that 8yr old thought, but I would have known better than to proclaim it so boldly. How come sin was explained as cussing, disobeying parents, being mean, complaining, and not getting good grades instead of what sin really is? Was it bad theology or did people have alterior motives? It makes me wonder if those three areas of influence used Christianity more as a way of control and discipline than a means to know God. But then again, I was 8.

Uh oh

2008-08-01T21:16:00.002-04:00

7:25pm I lock my keys in my 1994 Honda Accord EX for the first time in 13 years
7:35pm I successfully break into my car (while damaging nothing but the coat hanger and its coat of white paint).

7:36pm I am ecstatic at my success yet scared at how easy it is to break into my car.

To car thieves who also read blogs:
my cd player has already been stolen. don't bother.

Profoundedness found at bottom of post

2008-07-19T18:00:00.003-04:00

Speaking of lists to the fourth degree, ever heard of the 4 Spiritual Laws? I’ve never liked them because they’re not completely accurate and they miss the point. I’ll argue with you about them later if you’d like. Cancel that, let’s do it now. We’ll just take Law #1: God loves you and has a great plan for your life. Flaw 1) What if you already have a decent plan for your life.....then why would you need God? Flaw 2) although that statement is true, the fact that it is mentioned in all 4 'spiritual laws' seems to imply a "God exists to bring about your story" theme rather than a “God is at work to bring about His Kingdom and you can be along for the ride” theme (which seems to be much more in line with the Bible's message).

Anyways, I recently heard someone explain the Gospel in what he called "the 4 REAL Spiritual Laws”. Even though the emphasis on ‘REAL’ seemed pious, nevertheless he was right, and I loved them. It was brilliant because of how concise, accurate, beautiful, and true they are. I shall pass them along to you:

1) God is God
2) You aren't
3) Sin is getting 1) and 2) confused
4) Jesus came to take care of 3) and straighten us out on 1) and 2)

Forgive me

2008-07-12T13:05:00.008-04:00

THE 4 TYPES OF PEOPLE THAT ARE THE HARDEST FOR ME TO FORGIVE (or not think I'm better than):
1) Those who make fun of others who aren't as cool/gifted/blessed as them while the victim of the mocking is present
-Unfortunately, there exist a couple guys (solid Christians even) that to this day I strongly disdain because of this.

2) Those who are extremely judgmental among the Christian faith
-Forgiving them, I can do easier because I understand that this is due to a lack of understanding the Gospel...something that is only brought about by the grace of God. However, I have a hard time not thinking I'm better than these people often (which interestingly, is due to a lack of understanding the Gospel on my part).

3) Anyone involved on the supply side (not the demand side) of the sex trafficking industry
- A man who's looked at porn so much, his life so mundane, that he has to do something scandalous and exciting for him to continue living (a.ka. the demand side).....I can understand, although not condone by any means. However, the person who wants to arrange the meeting between this man and a 15 yr old enslaved girl.....that person I would permanently maim in a heart beat.

4) Stuck-up sorority girls
-need I elaborate?

I hate ventroloquism

2008-07-08T23:45:00.003-04:00

...but I am amazed by this guy's talent (he won America's Got Talent; I'd recommend seeing all his other impressions) and this other ventroloquite's (Kevin Johnson).

Unbelievable. I wish I had talent. Basically I'm saying "I wish I could somehow get a ton of glory." I'm jealous of these guys because I'm dying to know what it feels like for people to be that impressed by you. I'd love to interview these guys. I'd want to ask them what's it like receiving all that praise. Wait no, I'd like to ask them 10 years from now how it felt. Because basically I'd want to figure out if it's worth me spending a lifetime trying to achieve that same feeling.

Proverbs 24:16

2008-06-29T20:49:00.004-04:00

There will be 3 blog posts posted post July 6th. I cannot promise they will be posted on this blog, but somewhere posted they shall be. In the meantime...

Spain's got it right: 30hr work weeks

2008-06-21T12:46:00.006-04:00

[Hypothetical conversation]
Inquisitive professional small-talker: So what do you do in your free time?
Martin: I work

This is me subtly venting about my recent 82 hour (mostly optional) work week in which I only had enough time for 2 bowel movements and a blog post.

I watch it proudly

2008-06-14T17:34:00.001-04:00

It's the "In" thing to make fun of or be too cool to watch American Idol. I'd love to ask these 'cool' people, "why don't you watch it? Do you not like music? Or competition? Or attractive girls singing?" Yes, the female audience members in the front who always wave their hands to slow songs is lame; yes, American Idol picking pretty-boys as contestants for the sake of appealing to 11yr old girls is lame; yes, Ryan Seacrest; yes, many of the judges staged comments and interactions are lame.....but still, you don't boycott something just because it contains lameness (if that's the case, you'd have to boycott your kids). Get over yourself and watch it for its greatness.

I hope the Spirit used my preaching to convict you. Anyways, this video is, in my opinion, the best, most enjoyable performance of this American Idol season (honorable mention: Michael Johns Bohemian Rhapsody performance). And Chikezie got only 10th place. If he makes an album with this type of music, I will buy it...and will also buy one for you for Christmas.

This post has nothing to do with gas prices

2008-06-10T16:21:00.001-04:00

If anything has ever been said by myself that contained wisdom, it was secondhand wisdom, unoriginal wisdom; basically, I'm good at quoting people. But the other day seemed to be the first time I'd ever said anything wise that was originally phrased (not an original thought though).

Allen: dude, here's what you've got to do....you've got to make her your f*** buddy.
Martin: Nah man, the more meaningless sex you have the more meaningless all your sex will be.
Allen: Hmm
Martin's conscience: wow, that made sense and was almost profound. you're probably really proud of yourself right now. and would probably blog about this if you weren't so worried about people thinking you're bragging.

Conclusion: regardless, praise God truth came out boldly, coherent, and unbabbled.

The Veritas Forum: Belief in an Age of Skepticism?

2008-06-02T23:12:00.005-04:00

You Tube video that couldn't post on my blog for some reason...probably b/c it is 1.52 hours long...or because youtube is anti boldly proclaimed truth

Tim Keller lecture at Berkley. The first 44 minutes is the lecture followed by Q & A. The lecture is unbelievable...must watch. After watching it, I find myself surprisingly gripped by the truth I already know to be true. What a brilliant man. I sometimes get trapped into thinking "How do Christians survive without him?" to which my conscience responds "they have for thousands of years." Touche conscience.

Feminism would die, if men would be men

2008-05-20T08:00:00.000-04:00

Dissatisfaction

2008-05-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

Statements all of us find profound, but none of us believe to be true:

We’re dissatisfied most often b/c we’re trying so hard to be satisfied.
-a wise person

90% of our dissatisfaction is b/c we think about ourselves 90% of the time.
-possibly the same wise person

(I'd be satisfied If I were Asian)

Saint and Sinner

2008-05-07T16:40:00.005-04:00

I get it finally.

I get what Derek Webb was talking about in his song Saint and Sinner. He's talking to his soon to be wife, letting her know what the deal is before she enters in to this life long journey with him.

if you want my glory you gotta take my sin...
if you want my bed you gotta take my lust...
if you want my spirit you gotta take my booze...
if you want my child you gotta take my kin...
'cause I'm not a half a man
A saint and a sinner is what I am

... and it doesn't get better once you see the light;
you wake to find that the fight has just begun.

I've always figured I'd have to trick a quality girl into marrying me. Make her think my glory is bigger, my status is bigger, my sin is smaller, and once I do that successfully, BOOM I pop the question (i say 'BOOM!' because there will indeed be bomb explosions involved in my proposal. but i digress). I have a tendency to try to portray a different, more perfect Martin. I do this partly due to insecurity, partly due to not understanding the Gospel, partly due to many girls' unrealistic expectations. I've known 4-6 relationships (one of them my own sorta) where the girl broke off the relationship because the guy had lusted before. The situation is not that the guy's not holy enough for her, or that he's not stepping up to the holiness plate; the issue is that she doesn't know what real holiness for guys looks like. Nonetheless, this makes me feel like I have to have it all together all the time or be the guy who is good at faking all that by repenting of stuff like giving too much or saying long prayers with big words or spontaneously breaking in to conversations about helping the poor or discussing how much one loves work because it's working unto the Lord. I can play that game, but will hate myself in the meantime. I'd much rather have an 'I am who I am by the grace of God' mentality than submit to others' fabricated unbiblical standards of sanctification. In other words, I'd rather just learn to be a man who is content with himself (this may take a while) yet discontent with his holiness, and then just wait on a woman who gets this song. I've only met a few females who do. I plan on marrying all of them.

Bring Back the Boy Bands

2008-04-30T19:34:00.002-04:00

Probably one of the catchiest songs I know. Done by the European boy band called Ozone (whom I'm sure also wrote the music and lyrics). Hearing this makes me miss the boyband days of old.

4 Reasons why I hope the boybands make a comeback:
1. They're fun to make fun of. They're a good conversation starter if you're in the mood to mock people.
2. Singing them karaoke is always a hit. It always gets a good laugh and everyone deep down loves the song(s).
3. American Idol's monopoly on preteen female fandom must be challenged.
4. "I Want it That Way"

Operation Give me my truck back

2008-04-25T18:24:00.010-04:00

A guy stole a Penske Truck. I am ticked. He originally rented it from me so I took it personal. I bent over backwards helping this guy when he first needed the truck. So I find out where he lives, go to his house located in crackville just to see if truck 469522 was there. No dice. I try again a few days later. I find the truck. I consider using my spare truck key and jumping in the truck and stealing it back right then and there. But I realized when he eventually comes out and sees my Honda instead of his truck, he might key it, bash my windows, break in and steal my Bible, who knows. So I call the cops. Apparently this guy's wanted for other mischievous deeds. Twenty five minutes later he is in handcuffs.

In other words, I currently love my job.

(What part of me wanted to say were we able to engage in friendly conversation: "Hey man, if I were to negatively stereotype the next time an uneducated, no credit card black guy with a disconnected number tries to rent a truck from me, would you consider me being wise or being racist?")

Thoughts on being annoying

2008-04-20T17:31:00.011-04:00

Annoying people... or normal people who do unintentional annoying things......we all know a few of them. How many of them do you think are aware of the extent of their own annoying habit, tendency, or state of being?? My guess is less than 5%. This is a tragedy.

Let's take Kevin for instance. Kevin would go visit friends in their respective college dorm rooms. He would always overstay his welcome. He's the guy who says "Oh you need to study? That's fine, I'll just watch TV in your room." He just doesn't get it, and as a consequence, his friends talk bad about him behind his back. They avoid him more than invite him. He's losing more friends than gaining them.
Why it's a tragedy: I bet Kevin would and could easily stop if he somehow knew he did this. He's losing friends because no one is thoughtfully bold enough to let him know.

Let's also take Neal. Neal has a habit of cleaning out his ears while talking to people. Then placing the earwax in a close by napkin/tissue/denim jeans. For some reason, it hasn't occurred to him that other people can see him. People are grossed out a tad. He wonders why he can't get dates.
Why it's a tragedy: If he knew people were grossed out, he would and could stop. He's losing stock with the ladies b/c no one is thoughtfully bold enough to let him know.

From what I've seen, we deal with Kevin and Neal usually one of several ways: (listed by percentage of people who use them)

91%
1) Ignore them or avoid them and hope they go away or stop doing what they're doing. Then go complain about them to others.
(My assessmentation: this is the worst response b/c the cruelest thing to do would be to let the annoying person suffer many more years of rejection instead of sacrificing a few minutes of awkwardness to make them aware.)

7%
2) Tease them about it; comes off as "I notice this, but I'm not too bothered by it"
(My assessment.: this response is less hurtful because it communicates that it's not that serious, but runs the risk of them not really fathoming their quirk since it is made light of (Personally, I prefer to use this response, and prefer this response used on me.))

3%
3)Point out their annoyingness or their annoying quirk in a complaining way.
(My assess.: inconsiderate, insensitive, and probably harmful in the short run, but at least possibly helpful in the long term)

1%
4) Gently point it out, knowing that it hurts to hear it, but it needs to be said for their sake.
(My ass.: still hurtful, but the message is more clear, and it shows you care about them enough to risk uncomfortableness)

(yes that totals 102%. blame inflation)

If I had some traits that were incredibly annoying to most, I'd want to know about it regardless of how much it'd 'hurt my feelings'. I can't change if I don't know it exists. I'm blind to it unless someone tells me or makes fun of me for it. Since I live in the south, no one will make fun of me for it, so I need someone to tell me. If Kevin and Neal are blind to their own annoyingness, how do I know I'm not blind to my self and in the same boat with them??

Remember 'Would You Rather'?

2008-04-10T22:27:00.007-04:00

I own the calendar, the board game, and know his cousin Dan Rather (i get lamer as Penske sucks my life away). But honestly all pale ale in comparison to just good ol' off the top of your head with a bunch of high school guys who are all trying to impress a girl type of game. The first one I ever heard:

Would you rather have a dog's butt for a hand (fyi, they seldom wipe)...

or

not be able to tell the difference between a baby and a biscuit?

My answer: the latter, because you could always ask a trustworthy someone else who doesn't have this disease which of the two you currently have smothered in jelly, and then respond accordingly.

2008-04-02T17:07:00.003-04:00

Guys: Curtis, how can we pray for you?

Curtis: Really, the only thing that comes to mind is my girlfriend. She is trying to get in to Atlanta Art Institute. She needs a ton of help financially and that's IF she can even get accepted. So if you guys could pray for that, that'd be awesome.

Jon: (responding) My wife just got a job working in the Admissions department for the Atlanta Art Institute. Her job is mainly to decide who gets financial aid.

Guys: (laughter as we realize we are on holy ground)

Priceless

2008-03-30T17:19:00.005-04:00

Deion Sanders said in his book:

"'"I tried having sex with one girl, then two, then three at one time. Then doing it while on ecstasy. I experienced the most incredibly dark emptiness, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. There's no way you could understand unless you've been there."'"

After telling this story, along with several others, to our 9th grade dude discipleship group, one of them said "Martin, how do you know so much about black people having sex?"....Good question.

"'" - a paraphrase of a paraphrase plus some made up stuff based on what Deion really said

Georgia, what the hell?

2008-03-25T18:26:00.001-04:00

March 24, 2008

10:30am "I need to roll my car windows down, I don't want the car getting too hot sitting in the sun all day," I exclaimed sorta.

10:40am [I put said plan into action]

11:09am [It's freakin' snowing outside]

11:10am [laughter ensues from those in hearing range of 10:30am statement]

11:11am [visually saw 11:11 on the clock, made superstitious wish; but this is irrelevant to story]

11:12am [refuse to put my windows up to protest Georgia's weather patterns]

11:45am [I like to think Georgia learned it's lesson]

Glad - Easter Song

2008-03-23T14:22:00.000-04:00

My favorite Easter song (aptly named). Why does it also have to be the lamest and most hilarious-in-a-negative-way music video I've ever seen?

The Prom Queen Phenomenon

2008-03-10T18:43:00.005-04:00

Situation: The prom queen, who also got the superlative for best looking....Some guy comes up to her and tells her she is beautiful...her heart melts with that compliment.

Why does that make her feel so good? She's already been declared physically attractive many times before. He's not telling her anything new. She already knows she's attractive. So why is she uplifted with this compliment?? Why are 10 compliments not enough? For some reason, she has to hear it again and again and again and again for her to believe it. And if she goes a week or so without hearing it or seeing evidence of it, she probably starts to doubt she's got it. Man, what slavery!

I've read psychology. The only thing I've ever read that makes sense of this phenomenon is Searching for God Knows What by Don Miller.

Unresolved Earwax concerns

2008-03-09T17:45:00.008-04:00

I clean my ears out every other day...always with unsterilized objects. Is that above or below the normal human ear cleanage frequency?

I've heard that cotton swabs in the ears isn't healthy because it pushes the earwax back into the ear. Hopefully mythbusters will let me know.

When the wax comes out and its dark after being cooked at 98.6 degrees....how long as it been stuck up there? One week? Two weeks? A month?

I've yet to hear a sermon illustration involving earwax. It's got to be related to the Christian life somehow.

You think you've learned it all at 24

2008-02-29T19:18:00.003-05:00

The World: "Martin, have you learned your lesson today?"
Martin: "Yes! Please stop it; I get it."

The two lessons I've learned today:
1) The habit of 'Telling people what they want to hear' results in a much much harsher recourse if they find out the truth.

2) Any song that I hear and respond "I freakin' love this song, but I don't know the artist.".......the answer is always Timbaland.

America, the country of loneliness

2008-02-26T15:28:00.001-05:00

Watched God Grew Tired of Us (Brad Pitt, Angelina, Nicole Kidman all had their hands on this production). Recommend it to all. A documentary that holds your attention the entire time. The main Sudanese guy who was brought to America to work so he could provide for his friends and families' problems back home said this about America:

"America is so lonely. All everyone does is work. There is no time to come home and tell stories with your friends. Life is hard. I look forward to going back to Africa." (i paraphrased)

The pessimistic Martin says "There is no way to live in America and escape this loneliness and have true community."
The realistic Martin says "There is no way to live in America and escape this loneliness and have true community."

Ireland or bust!

Retardedly awesome

2008-02-24T14:22:00.002-05:00

That's my gender.

Brady Interview

2008-02-13T16:28:00.001-05:00

Two Youtube videos in a row...but this one's worth it. The last few lines of this clip break my heart. I hurt for Tom Brady. How many humans have ever said that about "the guy who has everything"?? What an example of how everything we shoot for, work our life for, still doesn't cut it at the end of the day.

"You have made us for yourself O Lord, and our hearts are restless until we find rest in thee." - St. Augustine

Banned Commercial

2008-02-06T21:27:00.001-05:00

I'm in blog depression where I don't care to write anything, so I result to YouTube. So here's my one month update: I liked Guiliani more than any candidate. Despite my theology, I'm scared to death of losing my salvation. The show Moment of Truth is retarded. I've never had this many nose hairs protrude past the nostrils in my life. I may braid them.

She died a few days ago

2008-01-29T20:54:00.000-05:00

This story is what keeps me from plunging deep into the business world. I've GOT to do something about this:

I AM Katelyn At the age of 16, bleeding, broken, stabbed and HIV positive, "I ran, but this time I guess I just didn't run fast enough," said Katelyn, a child sex slave.

Captured and raped at the age of eight from Moldova, Katelyn and her younger sister were forced into a trunk, taken to London, and then shipped to America where she was forced into prostitution. Overnight Katelyn went from living a life defined as a daughter and a sister to a life exploited by an international prostitution ring.

Based on tradition, if Katelyn had returned to Moldova, a small country between Russia and Romania, she would have been thrown into prison or killed. Marked as trash, her only option was to continue with the one who captured her.

Told that if she behaved well she would not be beaten or deported, Katelyn was made a fake ID and handed papers granting her access into America, and furthermore stripping from her the innocence of her childhood. At this point the joy of living life turned into the uninvited struggle for survival.

Katelyn said it was then that she learned her first lesson about life; it's all about survival. Somehow finding the strength to fight and the ability to perform as they wished, Katelyn continued on, but her sister didn't; she was killed.

Katelyn continued to perform her tasks and meet her quotas, which kept her pimp from beating her. "I got really good at it," she said. "That's when he sent me on trips to Canada and Mexico to work."

After about 5 years, of traveling and performing sexual duties in different cities, Katelyn was relocated to Atlanta in 2006 to live and work exclusively. While in Atlanta, she contracted HIV, turning her into a poor commodity for her pimp. It was then that the beatings began. "I can't tell you how many fractures and bruises I have had over the eight years I have been in this country", Katelyn said. "But most importantly, I've always managed to survive."

With little faith in herself, given her situation, the one thing she believed she could do was run. After several attempts at escaping, which always led to bruises and broken bones, Katelyn heard the walls crying out for her.

Etched into a bathroom wall in a shelter where she stopped to clean herself were the words GET OUT NOW followed by an 800 number. "God I wanted to get out," Katelyn said. "I was tired of digging into garbage cans for food and going to shelters to bathe."

The call was made, her path for freedom was discovered and she was ready to run, but she didn't know how far she would get. After speaking with the woman on the other end of the phone, Katelyn felt encouraged and redirected toward freedom.

A mere 5'4 and 82 pounds, Katelyn was sick and frail, yet she was determined to survive. Beginning her three-day journey across three states with no food, Katelyn found herself exchanging sexual deeds for bus tickets.

Along her journey she was beaten and stabbed, but that didn't stop her from running. Survival was her goal and the only way she knew how to achieve it was to run.

Just three hours away from the recovery home and about to board her last bus to freedom, the bus driver realized Katelyn was sick, and instead of allowing her to board the bus, he sent for medical help. Help that she desperately needed, yet time that she couldn't spare.

In fear and urgency, she escaped and continued to run. After phoning her rescuer she was informed that help was only 20 minutes away. For the next 20 minutes Katelyn ran faster than she ever had. "I had to get to her [the recovery director]," she said. "But most importantly I had to get away from him."

In those 20 minutes right before her help arrived, Katelyn's journey for survival came to a tragic end; her pimp caught her for the last time. Keeping her captive in a car and beating her, he broke her collarbone, both legs and her jaw before leaving her in a dumpster. "I ran as fast as I could," she said. "I really did. I am so sorry, but I couldn't run fast enough."

Upon the discovery of her body in the dumpster where she was left to die, she was returned to the hospital where she passed away 8 hours later. In her last words to the woman that was coming to rescue her she said. "Whatever you do, please don't forget me."

On February 2nd, just a week before her 17th birthday, a Memorial service will be held in Katelyn's honor at 2 PM at St. Paul’s Presbyterian Church in Atlanta, Georgia.

Strung together by the thread of remembrance, community leaders, politicians, celebrities, not-for profit organizations and the media will gather in conjunction with the community to honor a life spent running for survival.

No longer will her running be in vain. Although her physical survival is no longer possible, her heroic attempt to escape child sex trafficking will now be seen as footsteps for all those who feel too weak to run.

www.innocenceatlanta.org

What if...

2008-01-25T18:45:00.000-05:00

is a great song by the band everyone likes but no one will admit to it: Creed.

Anyways, what if I didn't give one more thought to finding a wife or what job I will be at in the future or what I want to do with my life...

What if I just pursued the furthering of God's Kingdom and knowing Him...and that was it. Would my other needs still be met? I am so convinced they wouldn't be, but what if they actually were? Holy cow, what an amazing God He would be.

White people? Racists???

2008-01-21T21:47:00.000-05:00

Monster Truck Rally...two memorable stories (if you have already taken care of your family, friends, and church, and therefore have time on your hands to read this)

1) I shall paint the scene from my January 12th evening: Monster Truck Rally, 75,000 people, 80% rednecks. Tommy and I stood in line chatting in the midst of a stand-still crowd waiting to enter the arena.........in a thick British accent. We were as loud and as British as we could make believable. People around us turned to look, confused and wondering what we were doing there. One of those pranks you pull for your own enjoyment....very enjoyable indeed.

2) After the event, as thousands boarded MARTA, I had to get on a crowded bridge that connected the Dome to the MARTA Station. 15' beneath us were tons of black homeless people waiting for people to toss down any amount of money or charity. So many of the rednecks on the bridge standing next to me taunted and mocked the homeless people below: "McDonald's is hiring!", "Here's a cigarrette...go fetch it niggers!" "Want some change? (fake throw) Hahahahaha". I have never wanted to beat the crap out of somebody so bad in my life. If there wasn't so many people around, I would have picked a fight, probably would have lossed, but at least hurt them in the process which would have been enough to satisfy me. Every black person I ran into the rest of that evening, I felt like I was one of them, on their side, against the naive redneck bastards who think God loves them more. My opinion of racism and all it's exaggerations and it's false accusations has changed.

Charlie bit my finger

2008-01-16T17:20:00.001-05:00

I laughed a solid 40 seconds. Can youtube videos get any cuter? I submit they cannot. Please prove me wrong. I will now name my child Charlie and/or speak only in a British accent for the first 2.5 years of his/her life (more to come on british accents later).

"Chick-i-fied dudes"

2008-01-07T22:35:00.000-05:00

I wrote a letter to Whitaker House Publishing. I haven't sent it yet, but here it is. Let me know if you see any modifications that would be helpful. I was inspired to write this based on my great Christmas present to my right and the video posted here.

Dear Whitaker House,
I am concerned about the Kingdom....not about being right, not about making a fuss about my preferences, but the Kingdom that Jesus is about. I know you all care about the same thing; so in light of that, I want to share a concern with you that I hope you will consider:

My mom gave me a great present for Christmas: Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon (printed by your company). The book is amazing, but what bothered me was its appearance. It is not a book geared towards one gender or the other; nor does it have study notes or commentary geared toward specifically males or females. Yet, the cover of the book was purple, pink, and gold, with a feminine font. Now honestly, I couldn’t care less about having a book that looks masculine or feminine; if it’s good, I’ll read it regardless without a thought about what it looks like. So why would I care about how it looks? Am I a sexist or one who wants his manhood affirmed? Neither. Here’s why this bothers me, why this issue must be discussed and prayed over, why this is worth my time trying to muster writing skills together to compose something that does not return void:

The number 1 demographic that does not attend church: males ages 18-35. Honestly, it makes sense. So many churches (if I may borrow/paraphrase some words of pastors Mark Driscoll, Anthony Bradley, and primarily Matt Adair) portray a feathered hair Jesus who wears a dress and talks in a fruity voice with a touchy/feely vibe. No wonder they feel weird following this guy. Men are looking for a hero, not a girlfriend. The church in 21st century America is largely failing to connect men to what they were created for, what men were created to fight for and stand for, and connect them to the greatest adventure this world has ever seen. The church and the church’s Jesus has become somewhat irrelevant to most men. Which is sad, because Jesus and His Kingdom is anything but irrelevant. Men need to be shown that this Jesus of the Scriptures is a blue-collar guy who swung a hammer for a living and is coming back one day like a UFC fighter with fire blazing in his eyes to fix and conquer everything that’s wrong with today’s world. The feel you get when you walk in to most Christian book stores and most Evangelical churches is anything but having to do with this Jesus. You have to admit this at least isn’t the most ideal situation. I believe your intentions and pursuits as a company are honorable and God-fearing. However, please consider that your unnecessarily feminine book covers may not be helping the issue at hand. The feminine appearance suggests that men wouldn’t care what’s inside. Or worse, (I understand, yet wish it wasn’t the case) that we will make more money if we market it to females. Which may be currently true; but if we want Christianity to impact all aspects of our culture, including the men, we can't act like masculinity is a sin and that men and Christianity don't mix. That’s why I want to bring this to your attention. Not to make you feel guilty but to hopefully shed light on some problems in our church and how you can at least help minimize them. I’d love to know your disagreements and thoughts. Thank you for hearing mine. Would we both set aside our preferences, traditions, and agendas to seek what is best for our God. To Christ be the Glory.

Martin Davis

Boxing Day Debate

2007-12-26T10:38:00.000-05:00

Roommate Joseph and I had a recent heated argument (basically a normal discussion, but our apartment was 87 degrees):

M: Joseph....most attractive animated female in disney film...Go.
J: Maid Marian in Robin Hood
M: Joseph, she's a fox.
J: I know!
M: No, literally.
J: I know.

After some awkwardness, we agreed...
Most attractive Animated Female in Disney Film: Belle (from Beauty and the Beast)
Most attractive Animated Fox in Disney Film: Maid Marian
Most attractive Animated Teapot in Disney Film: Mrs. Potts (Beauty and the Beast)

P.S. You're not a good writer when you use percentages in 99% of your last 3 posts.

Blind Tradition

2007-12-22T23:30:00.000-05:00

Some Things Associated with Christmas...

Christmas Tree
Mistletoe
Large random bows
Ornaments
Snowmen/Snowwomen
Gift giving
Lights on the tree/yard/acting as fake ice sickles
The Colors Green and Red
Not showering (maybe just college students and the Davis family)

97% of Americans have no clue why these things have anything to do with Christmas. I am one of those (minus the gift-giving concept).

98% of Americans have probably never even wondered why we do these things or questioned why they don't know why.

It's scary how tradition and expectation is enough to get us to do anything.

P.S. I wonder if any of these traditions existed before 1850-ish. I guess after thousands of years, we finally realized the idea of celebrating God humbling himself and becoming a man to fix everything that is wrong with us and our world was getting old and needed to be spiced up a bit.

Santa Claus = Lying to your children...

2007-12-15T19:52:00.000-05:00

Man, that’s a tough one. I don’t know what I think about that. But apparently I have enough thoughts to compose a blog post about it (by the way, there was a real Santa Claus in the 200s; a bishop named Nicholas; great story; I own the cartoon movie).

Pros and Cons of kids believing in Santa Claus (in paragraph form):
Fact: you are lying to your kids about Santa Claus’ existence. Which this may or may not be a big deal, but consider this... One day you will break it to your kids that all logic is actually correct: Santa Claus is not real. From that day on, how can you expect your kids to trust you with anything important ever again. You deceived them once, why couldn’t you do it again? Another anti-Santa point would be that it glorifies consumerism and it makes the child more self-centered. Doesn’t it seem wrong that the 9-yr old gets 38 presents from Santa/parents, but he didn’t bother getting his parents a single present. And interestingly, his parents didn't get any presents from Santa either. But 99.9% of the time, the child never notices this because he/she’s too consumed with what THEY are getting (Yes, this is OK for a child who's 4, but I think you're allowed to start giving and learn to not be self-absorbed when you turn 6).
On the other hand, parents that are pro-Santa Claus for more reasons than just the fact that every kid on the street is doing it or because they've never considered not doing it, have some decent reasons to have their kids believe in Santa. One, believing in Santa definitely helps develop the imaginative, creative side of their mind. Two, the trust thing isn’t a good point, because hopefully the trust your child has in you has been built up over the years and doesn’t rest simply on Santa Claus. Three, believing in Santa only takes the focus off of Jesus' birth if you let it. It's possible to glorify one much more than the other.

Conclusion 1: As to what I will do with my kids, check back after I have a wife and have consulted with her.

Conclusion 2: My mom still writes ‘From Santa’ on all my wrapped presents. I will some day break it to her that I know it’s her handwriting.

Conclusion 3: When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.

What if Ralph Nader won?

2007-12-05T21:19:00.000-05:00

Legalized Marijuana. What if that happened? 99.9% of Christians' consciences would feel guilty for smoking it, but why? If it was legalized, what would be wrong with smoking it? We intake so much stuff that alters our state of being already: sleeping pills, benedryl, sugar, wine, adderol, prozac. (By the way, I've never smoked weed so I'm not trying to justify my actions.) What makes weed so much more unholy than prozac or sleeping pills or caffeine? Honestly, I'm not that convinced that responsibly taking a substance in order to feel more at peace or more relaxed or more temporarily happy is unpleasing to God. I could easily see someone enjoying this feeling at the expense of marijuana while thanking God for the feeling produced by something he created ("For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with Thanksgiving"?).........................assuming it becomes legal.

I am not pro-drugs or pro-controversy; I am pro-questioning why something seems wrong and not abstaining from it just because church or parents told you so.

Scripture not as entertaining

2007-11-30T20:46:00.000-05:00

"Now if the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone, came with glory, so that the Israelites could not look steadily at the face of Moses because of its glory, fading though it was, will not the ministry of the Spirit be even more glorious? If the ministry that condemns men is glorious, how much more glorious is the ministry that brings righteousness! For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory." 2 Corinthians 3:7-10

How come most of us just skimmed through that passage to get to what my comment down here was first? We are too impatient. And of course, we already know what the Scriptures says, and we don't really need to read it again because we're sure it won't impact us again in a new, different, and fresh way. Even if we knew it would impact us again, we don't really have time for it.

I noticed how bad I am at this the other day. I like to listen to sermons often, probably twice a week. Almost every time, I tune out during the preacher's reading of the text, sometimes even fast forward. It's as if him reading Scripture is wasting my time; he should get on with the good stuff.

Topless Males

2007-11-27T22:50:00.000-05:00

Guys walking around Topless.......what are your thoughts/rules on that? Whenever I see a guy, aged 16-30, with his shirt off, I always have one of two thoughts:
1) That guy is only topless because he thinks he's hot stuff
2) That guy is topless because he doesn't realize how unattractive his nipple hair is
So I always judge the guy as being either conceited or naive

Aged 30+, my thought is always
1) I wish I didn't care what people thought like that guy does

Which is why you will never see me topless. I either think I'm too unattractive (pale) or I worry that others will think I'm trying to show off (i have nice deltoids) or I lack the 'whatever' attitude brought upon by having a wife and kids.

Help without exception?

2007-11-26T13:36:00.000-05:00

Friends and I decided we would provide Thanksgiving dinner for a family who cannot afford it. The ministry that hooked us up w/ the family gave us the members of the family’s names, their phone number, and address. It was a mom and her three kids....all of them had different last names. My heart hardened a little as I didn't care to help them as much as I did originally.

I pictured a woman who was irresponsible with the men she chose to have kids with. Who probably didn't even want a good man so much as she wanted kids. Who wanted kids so she can get more money and help from her baby's daddies and her government. Who wants to live her life dependent on hand outs from other people. Who doesn't care to take responsibility by NOT having another child without a dad present.

Of course there's no way to know the truth, but what if this family was as I stereotyped/unfairly judged them? Should I still help them? Should we be helping those in need regardless of their situation, even if it only serves to keep them in their state of dependency and irresponsibility? This just got me thinking about how much discretion should be used (if any) when helping a person in need get their need met. What about Proverbs where it says whoever doesn't labor shall not eat? At the same time, how many times have we demanded God to give us something because we think we are owed it when have done nothing to deserve it....and God still, despite our ungratefulness and reverence, still blesses us. I have a tough time reconciling the two sides.

P.S. We delivered the food Monday night; she thanked us; we went on our way. She was even more thankful when we came back the following night because we forgot to give her the 1lb of cheddar cheese to complete the macaroni & cheese dish. I'm glad we helped her.

Isn't it Ironic

2007-11-17T17:35:00.000-05:00

-My favorite grocery store is Publix.
Yet I shop at Kroger 95% of the time; the other 5%...WalMart.
-Among my top favorite actors are Leonardo Dicaprio, Kate Winslet.
Yet I loathe the movie Titanic.
-I thoroughly enjoyed all 5 PCA Atlanta churches that I visited
Yet I a regularly attend an Anglican church (no, a girl is not involved)
-I wrote this blog post.
Yet I hate irony

It's just something to say

2007-11-12T12:04:00.000-05:00

In the past 72 months (6 yrs), I have only received a "congratulations Martin, that's awesome" during 3 of those months. Two months were all in regards to my college graduation and high school graduation and all given by people over the age of 28. The other month was right after I got a job. Zero of those months were after my fantasy baseball victory.
Now I don't poo-poo any congratulatory comments I receive, but at the same time, school was generally easy. Can you tell me how many people that start college never finish (pregnant women excluded)? Like maybe 3%. Meaning, the congratulations doesn't mean much...it feels more of like just something you say because you don't know what else to say. That's probably the reason why no one my age said congratulations.....it's because it's expected of you...it's not a big deal. You have failed if you didn't graduate. It's like rewarding your elementary schooler for flushing the toilet....it's what you're supposed to do. To me and most others, the congratulations is really more of "hey, you reached the next stage in life" rather than "wow, what a great feat you have accomplished". Which, in that case, we should have been congratulated on reaching puberty. At the same time, I myself will probably give out many "congratulations on graduating college" to future generations simply because it's what you're supposed to say even though it doesn't mean anything; I, like my culture, have plenty of insincere comments left to give.

We publicly humiliate because we don't understand

2007-11-03T15:46:00.001-04:00

This hit Dateline NBC show uses a decoy to catch/trap online predators. The typical predator looks normal, is 42 years old, and has a couple kids. The decoy, with the help of NBC, lures the predator to come visit his/her house. The predator, after minutes of being in the house, gets greeted by Chris Hansen of NBC, the predator gets embarrassed, then arrested. A criminal gets captured; justice is done. People love this show. Look at the comments on YouTube about this video. Everyone typically has one of three reactions to this:
1) They love that the predator is getting what they deserve, they love watching the guilty party get humiliated
2) They think it's funny.
3) They are just overall disgusted by the perversion of the predator.

The only thing is, for some reason, I'm always on the predator's side. There could be something wrong with me. I don’t know why I feel that way, but I’ll try my best to articulate why (part of the purpose of this post is so that it’ll force me to dig into why I feel this way). I'm all for catching the predator and him being severely punished, but something just doesn't feel right. Maybe it's because it's hard to watch as someone's life is being completely destroyed. Maybe it’s because I’m immediately trying to picture this guy’s situation that would make him do this. He’s probably jaded with his marriage and looking for something to rescue him from his mundane, meaningless life. He’s probably has been enslaved to porn for years and can’t escape. Meaning his ever-increasing tolerance level for arousal has led him from porn to scandalous porn to needing the real thing. He’s a normal guy with a serious problem; a normal guy who wants something exciting in life; a normal guy who never dealt with his sin and it has now taken over him. As a result of these originally ‘innocent thoughts’, he has ruined his life and his relationship with his family forever. Could not this be myself save the grace of God.

Bathroom advice

2007-10-26T22:43:00.000-04:00

- My towel, the towel in which I dry myself off with after showers, smells. I washed it 4 days ago. It makes no sense. Any clue why this is? Details that may help you better answer my question: the towel hangs on a hook on the back of a door, the toilet that shares the room with this towel is only flushed 60% of the time, the bathroom door is closed shut 15% of the time, the towel is blue.

- I was using the restroom at Penske when the bathroom lights went out. How does one go No.2 in the dark? Think about it. Luckily, I remembered the ancient proverb "don't cry, let it dry", but I'm still curious how a normal person would overcome this obstacle.

(me in the bathroom)

I love everything about this picture

2007-10-23T23:18:00.000-04:00

Child Poverty in North America - photo taken by a person

My Soul Rejoice and Sing

2007-10-17T23:40:00.001-04:00

There are times, unfortunately more often than healthy, that I feel so calloused, so distant from God, that I am confident I don't belong to Him. I think "there's no way I could be this indifferent toward sin, indifferent toward the furthering of the Kingdom, and God have favor on me." The other day I was definitely feeling this and needed to be rescued from it. Then, I heard this song which was like medicine to a sick soul. I couldn't help but get teary eyed, and then couldn't help but smile. That girl's joyful laugh in the background......what an appropriate response after hearing that chorus!

Man I can't freakin wait until Christmas

2007-10-09T21:23:00.000-04:00

Man I can't freakin wait until Christmas. Even more, I can't wait to work on Christmas Eve.

Xmas Albums I grew up on and still listen to in July:
1. Michael W. Smith - Christmas
2. Manheim Steamroller (all of them)
3. Amy Grant's Christmas Album
4. Peter, Paul, and Mary - A Holiday Celebration
5. Mungo Jerry - In the Summertime (received it Xmas '97)

Blog post reader: "Christmas spelled 'Xmas' is demeaning to Christ."
Wikipedia: "'Christ' was often written as 'XP' or 'Xt'; there are references in the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle as far back as 1021 AD. This X and P arose as the uppercase forms of the Greek letters χ and ρ), used in ancient abbreviations for Χριστος (Greek for 'Christ')."

100% man

2007-10-03T21:29:00.000-04:00

My dad farted the other day. It smelled. We laughed. It never gets old. We transitioned into a chat about how Jesus, being human, had to break wind from time to time. The disciples probably farted as well. And probably laughed about it. I'm sure this happened at least once:
Peter: That smells awful! Who was that?!
Jesus: My bad
John: Jesus, what did you eat?!

Blog post reader: Martin, this is a little blasphemous.
Blog post author: You're blasphemous for thinking Jesus wasn't completely human. I hate that for you because you probably have a hard time believing that Jesus can identify with you.

Not for children under 4

2007-09-22T22:58:00.000-04:00

"Evangelical Christian women are twice as likely to experience orgasms in sex than non-Christian women. - (some secular psychology magazine i think)

My first reaction to hearing this: Yes!
My second reaction to hearing this: Of course that's true.

I care to discuss my second reaction.

Why is this true? If I was thought to have any clue about this topic and was asked to write an essay about it, this is what my limited knowledge would say:

Christian or non-Christian, girls enjoy sex (like i know what i'm talking about) more when:
-the guy is incredibly in to them
-the sex is not meaningless
-there is more intimacy
(all of these are sort of related)

This makes so much sense to me why non-Christians females aren't enjoying it as much. The world and the media preach that sex isn't special, it's something you do with someone who turns you on, that's it. As evidenced by every single movie where the couple meets, hits it off, and has sex on that first or second night. Or a movie like Superbad where the guys need to hurry up and have sex in high school so that they won't be rookies when they have it all the time in college.
Result: meaningless sex

They say chivalry is gone. No where do we see men treating women with respect without them getting something in return. Therefore even love making becomes all about you, not about the other person. It's all about what they can do for you. For guys, it often becomes just about 'getting off.'
Result: The guy's not that much in to the girl unless he can get something from it

It's not cool to love your wife, to romance her. They say being a 'man' is spending all your free time watching football. Being a 'man' is not being tied down. Saying 'no' to the guys so you can spend quality time with your wife is considered 'being whipped.'
Result: Guys don't spend time increasing intimacy

Interestingly, the only places I've seen where sex is valued, selfless romancing is encouraged, the goal is to serve the other, and love is defined as more than just a feeling....is God's Word.

Honestly, Christian guys aren't much better at this....but apparently enough to make Christian women twice as likely to..you know.

Isaiah .0006

2007-09-19T18:06:00.000-04:00

For the past few years, myself and a few others have been praying for God to work a miracle in our friend's life. Deep down, I don't believe God will (or can) do what I've been begging him to.

The other day I get a phone call telling me about our friend. The miracle happened. What an answer to prayer. God is the only reason this could have happened.

So that's cool to see God answer prayer, but what was interesting was my gut reaction when I heard all this on the phone:
I immediately wanted to drop the phone, get on my knees right there on the Penske building fire escape steps, and repent. Not repent just of doubting God, but repent just for existing. Repenting for everything about me that hasn't screamed glory to God 24/7 every day of my life.

You would think my first reaction would be excitement, or that I'd want to immediately thank God, or that I'd first want to say sorry to God for doubting him. But instead the first thing I think of is wanting to crawl into a ball and hide b/c of the strong sense that I'm in the presence of an incredibly holy and frighteningly powerful God.

Just trying to remember funny moments

2007-09-15T15:02:00.001-04:00

Betsy Desch: Want to hold Howie?
Martin: Sure, but I suck at baby-holding.
Tommy: It's no big deal. If you drop him, she can always make another one.

Martin: who wrote Handel's Messiah?
Joseph: Messiah

Tommy: I'm not a redneck. I don't do hunting or fishing. I don't have trucks on my lawn. I'm not attracted to my cousins.........and my cousins are HOT!

Martin: Thanks for calling Penske, this is Martin how can I help you?
Ticked off customer who rents trucks out of Birmingham, not Atlanta: Hey I keep getting calls from people to pay my invoices, but I pay them after 30 days every time. This is ridiculous! I want to talk to the owner of Penske!
Martin: The owner of Penske??
TOCWRTOOBNA: yes, whoever owns Penske Truck Leasing LLP, I want to talk to him!
Martin: hahahaha

Peter (to random customer at check-out counter): What's this?
Customer: It's toothpaste.
Peter: Toothpaste eh? I've heard of that.

Our competition's team name at trivia night: "Barbie never got pregnant because Ken always came in another box."
(perverted yes, but you have to admit that's witty)

My first movie if I become a filmmaker

2007-09-11T20:37:00.001-04:00

Wait, cancel that first part of the last post. That story should not be added to my inventory of stories.
1, b/c that's not my story anyways, I heard it fourth hand.
2, b/c what's so amazing about God changing people....we already knew the Gospel does that, why should we be so surprised and impressed when that happens?
3, this following story DOES belong to me, and I sob uncontrollably in this story which makes it more interesting/awkward when telling it.

My cousin Taylor Jackson, a lad who I saw every year of his life up until he was 8, has reappeared back into our lives now at the age of 18...
The reason why I haven't seen him in 10 years is because his mom has made it to where his dad (my blood uncle) can never see him again. In fact, "to make it easier on Taylor", she told him his dad was dead so that Taylor wouldn't desire to go run away and live with his dad. Let me repeat that to ensure your interest is sparked...his mom told him his dad was dead.
A year ago, my other cousin Wesley (who also hasn't seen him since they were both 8) finds Taylor on myspace.com. Taylor finds out his dad is alive. Wesley has been keeping in touch with Taylor since then. Wesley has asked Taylor if he wants to see his dad, but Taylor says he wants nothing to do with him.
Then two months or so ago, Taylor's mom and controlling step-dad are driving in the car with him. They pull over to the side of the road and yell at Taylor "get out of the car, and don't come back. Get outta here!" So Taylor goes and lives with one of his friend's families. A week later Taylor's step-dad comes looking for him. He barges in to people's houses looking for Taylor (like a drunk madman (unfortunately he's not drunk; he's just a natural ass)) and insisting that Taylor's there and they're hiding him. Fortunately, he visits all Taylor's friends' houses except for the friend's house Taylor was actually in.
Meanwhile, cousin Wesley finds out about this. Wesley tells his mom (my mom's sister). Then about a month ago, Taylor gets a phone call:
"Taylor, this is your Aunt Kandy, I don't know if you remember me. Your dad really wants to see you. Is that OK?"
"Yes."
That night, his dad/my uncle David/my mom's bro/man who does the best Donald Duck impression ever drove down and picked him up. The son who thought his father was dead, and the father who hadn't seen his son in 10 years, reunited.

So for the past month. Taylor has been living with his real dad and my uncle's amazing wife Connie. According to Taylor, he loves it.....

(i made 22% of this up b/c I forget what actually happened)

Not to Sonny, not to Josh, but to God

2007-09-08T13:19:00.000-04:00

Every person has about 5 to 7 good stories in them. I only have two, but I'm thinking about adding this one to my inventory.

Remember Sonny a few posts back? Back when he worked in Charlotte a couple years ago, there was a lady who worked with him who was a Nazi. Like, a real one. She would take her 6yr old daughter with her to Hitler's birthday party every year.
Sonny became good friends with her and gave her the book More than a Carpenter by Josh McDowell. She would read it, but would get so mad at the book that she'd chuck the book across the room. Later she figured "I probably should at least finish it though, just to tell Sonny I did."
She finished the book and shortly thereafter became a Christian sometime in 2006, as did her daughter. They celebrated their first ever Christmas 9 months ago. They had three presents under the tree: one for the mom, one for the daughter, one for Jesus. The daughter said to the mom "It feels so good not to hate anymore."

Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina answers a question

2007-09-03T13:22:00.001-04:00

What a disaster.

This video has 12 million views. I think the guys in my Bible Study have contributed to 2,000 of those.

I can actually identify with her. The whole mind going blank and the pressure of having to make a profound answer in 30 seconds...I could definitely see making a fool of myself (as I have in the past). But man, that was a retarded answer.

And deep down I wish Mario Lopez, instead of saying 'thank you for that answer', said "At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

159...and counting

2007-08-29T19:49:00.001-04:00

Counties in Georgia that I did not know existed/ never seen them on the back of a license plate:

Screven
Tattnall
Brantley
Columbia
Clinch
Bleckley
Schley
Treutlen
Taliaferro

And the counties with the most over-used puns:
Butts
Early
Quitman
Effingham

Retired Nomadic Mechanic?

2007-08-22T23:11:00.000-04:00

A familiar, normal, non-religious, sane, credible customer came in to Penske's rental office on Monday to turn in his rental truck and said to me "man, you're not going to believe this story. i swear you won't believe what happened yesterday (sunday)."

....here is his story:
"So in the middle of our run, the truck's brake pressure went out. We had to pull over on the side of the road. I call my boss to tell him we're stuck as my compadre walks into the woods to pee. As he walks back to the truck, an old man with a cane walks out of the woods...keep in mind, we're in the middle of nowhere...there isn't an exit within miles. He comes up to me and says 'something wrong with u're brakes?' I was like 'yeah, how'd you know.' The man walks behind the truck and touches the brakes for like 5 seconds. I'm standing to where I can view the brake pressure gage inside the truck. As he touches the brakes, the break pressure rises to 'full'. The guy walks straight back into the woods before we could get his name. We shouted out thanks, but I don't even know if he really heard us. Dude, we were freakin out. Can you believe that??"

"Dude, I believe you."

Most memorable Braves game of June 2006

2007-08-17T21:35:00.000-04:00

June something, 2006 I went to a Braves game with some friends from Athens. We were 3 innings late, the Braves ended up losing, and the kiss cam didn't do it for me. As we were walking back to my car that was parked in a back lot of a ghetto apartment complex, a black woman wearing only a purple bra and twitching all over (obvious crack addict), came up to our group that pretended to not notice her.
Scary lady: "I've been watching ya'lls car this entire time so I know you guys are going to help me out."
Martin: Oh thanks, I appreciate it.
(she continues to walk with us to our car)
Scary lady: I told those guys to keep watch of ya'lls car so I know you will give me some money.
(we finally get to the car)
Scary lady: Alright now what you guys got for me?!
(we pooled together about $2.00 in change)
Scary lady: Oh come on now! I watched yo' car! I know you guys got more!
Martin: Mam, maybe if you were more grateful, we would help you.

Over a year later, I still recall that whole scene and wish so bad that it had been like this:
Scary lady: I told those guys to keep watch of ya'lls car so I know you will give me some money.
(Martin pulls her aside as the group continues to walk)
Martin: Hey what's your name? I want to help you out but I don't think money will do it. You're a pretty woman, I wish you wouldn't harm yourself with those drugs. I'll tell you what...here, here's my shirt, put it on. I don't know how else to communicate that you are worth much more than you think. Here's my number in case you have any more clothing needs:) You have a good evening now.

....but unfortunately, I'm not Jesus. Yeah she probably didn't want help anyways. She might have been insulted and mad. She might have ignored me and gone on to another group of people that could better help her get her next fix. But then maybe it'd be something that would stick with her for longer than that just that evening. Maybe someone else who gets the Gospel better than I do showed up that night and helped her out.

I used to play baseball

2007-08-09T22:08:00.000-04:00

I have one superstition and one superstition only....
If I randomly look at a digital clock, and it says 10:31 (my birthday), that is a sign of good luck.
If I randomly look at the clock and it says 10:32, that's bad luck. Actually, I say it's a superstition, but really the only thing that goes through my head when is see those numbers are "hey, it's my birthday, cool" or "hey, it's 10:32". Also, I say "hey" to clocks often.

Sonny

2007-08-07T17:07:00.000-04:00

I hate to use the label "my hero" because it sounds like something lame a damsel in distress would say. But there's a man named Sonny, a 41 yr old father/husband who works with my roommate at Liberty Mutual as a claims adjuster...he is my hero.

He invests in people the way I think Jesus would, and the way I wish I did.
-He has an incredibly non-glamorous job, especially for someone at his stage in life.
-He makes it a point to spend time with his nephews weekly.
-He goes to heavy metal rock concerts (even Ozzfest).
-He still romances his wife.
-People at work know he's a Christian, everyone loves him, and everyone comes to him with their personal problems b/c they know he cares and listens.
-He talks about Jesus often and is currently going through Mere Christianity with two non-Christians from his work.
-He and his wife invite my roommate, myself, and several other guys from his work over for dinner about once a month.

I do not have a wife or kids, yet I still feel like I have no free time. So I end up hoarding it, hesitant to give it to other people. Sonny has much less than I, but gives it freely and purposefully...and interestingly is one of the happiest people I know.

I hope they don't have kids

2007-07-30T19:35:00.000-04:00

We have no clue the story behind this car we saw in the parking lot, so we made some educated guesses.

My fictitious caption to the story:
Derek Bauer, owner of a local lobster rubber-band manufacturing plant, will soon be ticked that some alleged female has mistaken his car for Mark's.

My roommate's fictitious caption to the story:
Mark, the ever grammatical elitist, left his wife not so much for the vandalistic display of hate, but because he could not relish the fact that his own spouse would leave a question mark off a blatantly interrogative sentence.

Quick thoughts/rants/blurbs/ resultsofboredom

2007-07-24T21:33:00.000-04:00

-One of the most common outlashes of the Fashion Police is against the wearing of socks with sandals. Hey, what if I want to wear socks cause they're comfortable, but don't want my feet to sweat that much. There is no solution to my problem other than wearing socks with sandals you bastards.

-Man, I seriously recommend reading Searching for God Knows What. At least five of those chapters are ranked in my top 6 most profound chapters I've ever read.

-My mom is going through chemotherapy for her breast cancer. She has no hair and my brothers shaved her head the other night. Honestly, I don't I could have done that without crying. But anyways, she has a wig. She now looks like Mrs. Cleaver (even though I've never actually seen her or that show or a beaver for that matter).

-I like Hillary more than most conservatives. She's smart and she was one of the first democrats to compliment some decisions made concerning Iraq. I respect her for that...or any politician who can acknowledge that the other side is doing something well.

-I am thoroughly enjoying Rob Edwards teaching right now. Which has made me want to study the book of Mark....probably the first time ever that I've actually really studied the Bible on my own.

-Please do not rent trucks from Uhaul. Not because I work for Penske, but because I am a fellow human being who cares about others and doth not want them stranded on the side of the road.

-I don't have cable. I basically have TBS and 5 crappy Christian channels. If I have to choose between Tyler Perry's House of Payne, The Bill Engvall Show, and back-to-back-to-back-to-back Everybody Loves Raymond reruns, I choose death.

My 3rd favorite Lion (behind Aslan and Lambert)

2007-07-18T21:21:00.000-04:00

Pedro the Lion, a Christian band who is known for their provocatively deep and raw lyrics, writes:

"ultra-violet rays are washing over all the boys and girls
as their moms lay tanning by the pool
all of their dads arriving home
all the children hug his neck unaware of their inheritence
all of the experts say you ought to start them young
that way they'll naturally love the taste of corporate cum"

why am i (along with a lot of the human race) so drawn to this?
my guess is three reasons:
1) we love originality
2) we like being shocked (not electrically)
3) we love it when someone is bold enough to point out the pretense that goes on around us

an interview with him if you're curious or wish blog posts were longer.

Still trying to figure this thing out

2007-07-15T13:14:00.000-04:00

i don't know what i'm going to do the rest of my life, but I do know that I will at some point in my life (God-willing) be involved with these:

- I will be a teacher at a Christian school.
- I will live in Cherokee, North Carolina and be involved somehow in the lives of the Cherokee people helping them either economically, socially, and/or spiritually.
- I will coach baseball whether that's at a school, my son's team, or a random little league team.
- I will have skin cancer.

USDA ft. Young Jeezy - White Girl

2007-07-11T21:30:00.001-04:00

See that girl w/ the briefcase at the beginning and also at the 2.17 mark of the video? I got to hang out with her on Sunday night. A guy in my Bible Study..that's his sister. She joined a few of us guys for some late night pizza. She's a Hawks Cheerleader that appears in rap videos on the side.

It was interesting how a girl who's so attractive and cool, could be so insecure around people she didn't know. Every moment she wasn't being talked to, she was pretending to text message or be distracted by her phone.

I really feel like if I were more attractive or cooler or had higher status, I would be tons more comfortable, tons more secure around people. But apparently all I need is more cell phone features.

Calvinism in the Airport

2007-07-04T14:07:00.001-04:00

This story happened in the pre-blog years, but I want to re-tell the story just so I will remember it and will have record of it.

My dad and I were getting on a flight from Miami to Atlanta. While we were waiting to board, there was a hold up. So a ton of us were stuck in that non-air conditioned walkway tunnel that goes into the plane. I randomly got this idea that since almost everyone in that tunnel could hear me, I turned to my dad and asked:
"So wait, why did Jesus HAVE to die?"
My dad, realizing that everyone could hear him and that he was being put on the spot, was a little nervous in his answer. It ended up being a half complete, so-so answer. It was interesting b/c my dad, the theologian, was scraping for words and thoughts to say to such a basic question. I responded with another question, but my question was sorta crappy and didn't get us anywhere.

But then the couple standing right next to us turned around and said:
"We couldn't help over-hearing your conversation. Do you mind if we give our thoughts on the matter?"
Dad: Sure
Martin: Please

They ended up giving a great answer, an answer that gave quite a profound look at the Gospel.....for everyone in that tunnel to hear.

For there I long to be

2007-06-30T20:37:00.000-04:00

this week has been rough. Partly because I have to get up at 5:15 some days, partly because I feel guilty about past deeds, mostly because I know I am deeply hated by someone (who doesn't read this blog anyways). Where does one go when they're haunted by guilt or deeply burdened by a tough situation? I know as a Christian that I'm supposed to go to Jesus because he says "come all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest" and "cast all your cares upon the Lord for he cares for you."

So I pray: "God, you give grace to the weary. I'm supposed to come to you when I am weary. I have no clue what this looks like...what does 'coming to you' look like? What does 'laying all my burdens down at your feet' look like? And what's supposed to happen when I do? Do you fix the problem? I don't really expect you to make the problem go away. I don't think that's how you work. Can I still come to you if I'm not a victim but one who is guilty? So God, I have no clue what I'm supposed to do, how Jesus is supposed to encourage me in this situation, but I 'lay this burden at your feet' anyways. All I know is that I need you, b/c I got nothing."

Even though I didn't know what to say, and doubted anything happening in the first place, I had this rare peace for the rest of the day, including through my incredibly hectic day at work. I was in a great mood for no reason. I was quite shocked really. Praise be to God that he is real and is better than we expect.

"What sweet invitations, the gospel contains,
To men heavy laden, with bondage and chains;
It welcomes the weary, to come and be blessed,
With ease from their burdens, in Jesus to rest."

Worth every bit of the 20.22 minutes

2007-06-26T22:02:00.001-04:00

I've always wondered why America is so depressed. There are 300 million prescriptions for Prozac filed each year in the US. What's the deal with that? It makes sense why Japan is depressed...presumably because of the intense pressure to succeed often put on by upholding the family name. But in America, you can do whatever you want, you can choose to be rich or not rich, choose to live in one city or another, even choose whether you want your parents to be your parents or not....and if none of this works out, we have tons of resources available to help fix our problem or help us get better. So why the 300 million prescriptions? I think Barry Schwartz sheds light on some of this. If youtube is being gay, here's the link to the actual TedTalks website: http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/93

I almost just stepped on a raccoon

2007-06-17T23:15:00.000-04:00

....8th scariest moment of my life.

Knocked Up

2007-06-13T17:02:00.000-04:00

speaking of the movie "Knocked Up", I saw it. I saw it because I've had a crush on Katherine Heigl ever since her made-for-tv Disney channel movie "Wish Upon a Star."
My comments on Knocked Up:
-Foulest movie I've ever seen
-It appeals too much to the flesh; it makes you want certain aspects of that one-night fling lifestyle.
-You see female genitalia (as the baby's head is coming out....yes, so awkward)

and yet....

-it was incredibly original: it advertises itself as a hilarious comedy (and it is) but it is one of the first of those types of comedies that actually tries to have a plot and make a point
-there were several profound, truthful moments in the movie. It shows how much marriage, kids, and money don't satisfy.

i don't know why i share this, probably a waste of a blog post; anyways, don't go see it

Basketry was my favorite merit badge

2007-06-02T14:23:00.001-04:00

(at a fancy restaurant for our friend's birthday)
Tommy: How many penguins do you think you could kill in an hour? You have a baseball bat by the way.
Martin: Depends, am I mad at them?
Tommy: Who ISN'T mad at them??
Martin: I could probably kill one every 10 seconds for the first 15 minutes. Then fatigue would set in, and it would probably take 2-3 swings per kill. At around 40 minutes, I could probably only kill 1 per minute.
Tommy (after whipping out his calculator): That's 175. Not bad. The national average is 120.
Martin: Who in the world carries a calculator with them?
Tommy: I was planning on having this conversation

------------
Martin: If I were to guess, I bet Lebron James could get 92% of all white women in the US.
Ben: That's pretty sad.
Martin: Yeah, it's sad he's settling for a black girl.
Ben: No, it's sad b/c I could probably only get about 6% of white women.
Martin: but 13% of black women.
Ben: So could anyone that has an income.
Black guy: That's so true.

------------
Martin: How long have you lived there?
Girl I just met: Sorry, I have to go take a dump.

Someone give me something to parent

2007-06-02T00:50:00.000-04:00

What are your thoughts on these theories of raising a child? How valid are they?

-If you over-compliment the child and give affirmation often, he'll have a good self-esteem. But when he matures and finds out that he has faults, he'll be shocked, and therefore disappointed in himself thinking "what's wrong with me??? i'm better than this." Areas of weakness becomes areas of despair because he's always been told these areas were strengths.
In light of this, should you refrain from complimenting the child on a regular basis. That way, the child has lower standards for himself and can therefore be more pleased more often with himself when he performs well because he's exceeding the standards set for him.

- Only complimenting a child every time he/she does a good job at something like good grades in school, or having a good baseball game, or doing well in the church play should be avoided. Because this could communicate that parents' love is conditional....that it mainly exists when the child performs well. When the child fails in these areas (school, sports, church, etc.), he may feel his parents' acceptance and love has decreased. Additionally, his self-esteem will be deflated because the basis of his esteem has always been good performance.

- Every time a child does something well, you tell them they just got lucky. That way, the child learns to develop a good lucky feeling.

Why don't we sing this more often

2007-05-27T13:51:00.000-04:00

The words of anyone who's ever truly met Jesus and the words that are slowly becoming my own:

verse 1:
Jesus, I my cross have taken,
All to leave and follow Thee.
Destitute, despised, forsaken,
Thou from hence my all shall be.
Perish every fond ambition,
All I’ve sought or hoped or known.
Yet how rich is my condition!
God and heaven are still my own.

Verse 4:
Go, then, earthly fame and treasure,
Come disaster, scorn and pain
In Thy service, pain is pleasure,
With Thy favor, loss is gain
I have called Thee Abba Father,
I have stayed my heart on Thee
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather;
All must work for good to me.

Your welcome

2007-05-24T22:35:00.000-04:00

If you're stuck on the toilet, nothing's coming out, but you have your laptop w/ wireless internet with you, I highly recommend visiting these sites.

1. Watching Mary Lynn Rajskub's latenight appearances on youtube (she's Chloe on 24). I am so entertained by her. Her sense of humor is its own genre.

2. Start playing Lemmings (click on 'Lemmings Spel')

3. Read the different posters at this site. Brilliant and hilarious. Their slogan behind these products is: Motivational products don't work. But our Demotivational products don't work even better!

4. Interesting intelligence test (unfortunately, they don't give the correct answers later)

5. If you like sports, entertaining writers, or velcro, I recommend reading Bill Simmons...great articles, here's a good example of his stuff. (although i will have to forgive him for his comments bashing Mr. Holland's Opus)

6. Find out the exact salary of any of your high school teachers or college professors.

7. If you've been able to visit every site thus far, you probably need this.

Bowling's gettin expensive

2007-05-13T22:38:00.000-04:00

Story 1:
The owner of the bowling alley gives away free game coupons for anyone who bowls a turkey (three strikes in a row for you roast beef people). A girl in our group of 11 had bowled four strikes in a row plus a spare. So this Jamaican looking guy who worked at the alley came over to our group and said the girl "Alright here's a free game, but if you bowl a strike on this next bowl, I'll give you another free game." Sure enough, she bowled a strike. We were all making a ton of noise with our excitement. Even the dedicated bowlers on the bumper lanes next to us were distracted enough to stop and watch us. I was the bowler after her and he said "ok, now if this guy gets a strike I'll give everyone in the group a free game!" I was like "dude, don't do this to me." So after 23 years of always failing under pressure, I wound up and bowled a strike. Amazing. Everyone was going crazy; the guy was running around the alley saying "oh snap!".

Story 2:
I only knew 2 people out of the 11. Within the first 2 minutes of my arrival I made a really funny comment (it happens every blue moon). There was this guy who you could tell has been popular all his life; he heard my comment, thought it was hilarious, and consequently wanted to hang around me. As I noticed this I sorta tried to avoid him because I was thinking "if he hangs around me long enough, he'll realize that I'm not as cool or funny as he thought I was...and he'll eventually reject me."
I just thought this was interesting because this gives insight into how incredibly conscious I am of the social status of myself and those around me.
I have so much respect for people who aren't aware of differences and see people as people; I envy them because I try so hard to be that way, but fail constantly.

Ah the smell of sweat and beer

2007-05-08T19:20:00.000-04:00

I was reading the nutrition facts label on my bottled water and got to thinking about all the bands I've ever seen live in concert. I made a list in case anyone ever asks how many bands I've seen that start with the letter "3".

311
Adema
Amy Grant
Andrew W.K. (4)
Backstreet Boys
Bebo Norman
Bela Fleck and the Flecktones
Blink 182
Boy hits car (4)
Caedmon's Call (2)
Celtic Woman
Collective Soul
Creed (2)
Dashboard Confessional
Dave Matthews Cover Band (3)
Derek Webb (5)
Disturbed
Drowning Pool
Elf Power
Eve 6
Everclear
Finger Eleven (4)
Flaw*
Flyleaf
Fuel
Godsmack
Green Day
Hoobastank
Indigo Girls
Jars of Clay
Linkin Park (2)
Live
Manheim Steamroller
Maroon 5 (3) *
Marvelous 3
Michael Card
Modern Skirts (3)
Nickelback
Nickelcreek (2)
no doubt
Nonpoint
O.A.R. (3)
Offspring
Oleander
Our Lady Peace (3)
Papa Roach
Rebecca St. James
Rehab (2)
Sevendust (2)
Shane and Shane
Silers Bald
Skillet
Smalltown Poets
Sonic Flood
Staind (3)
Static X
Stavesacre*
Stone Temple Pilots (4)
Stroke 9
Sufjan Stevens
Switchfoot
Third Day
Waterdeep
Wes King

Bold - in my top concerts of all time
* - saw it by myself

Martin, who are you now?

2007-04-30T18:17:00.000-04:00

Remember that Hot Dog/Home Depot idea that once existed? It still exists (legally on paper), but was abandoned about 3 months and 2 fortnights ago. I had to swallow my pride and ditch the plan because I realized I didn't want to spend 3 or 2 years investing in something that could only provide money, but not a real future. I have yet to be brave enough to tell the blog world of this fact for fear of getting the question "so martin, what are you doing now?" Which my answer up until today would have been "daily push-ups (orange sherbet flavored) " or "occasionally substitute teaching for middle schoolers that thought I was the coolest guy ever solely because I wasn't someone's mom". In other words, nothing. But finally I can answer that question with dignity: I am working for Penske Truck Rental. Now when I meet a stranger, I have something to define me, I have an identity. Although I sorta like the "I'm Martin the Management major at UGA" identity better... ('martin, the kindergartener who was good at kick ball' was the all-time best)

Ah, what the heck

2007-04-21T01:44:00.000-04:00

Let me set the scene:
Friday night. My roommate was gone for the weekend. So I'm alone in my apartment. I was feeling like a loser for random reasons. Not depressed though. I had a "I'm really in the mood to sin" attitude. So I decided I would get incredibly drunk by myself.

Yeah, pathetic. Most intoxicated I've ever been. Regardless how the demeanor of this post may seem, I am not proud of this. But I do believe it brought to mind things worth talking about. The thoughts I had while drunk, I jotted them down just in case I would forget them in the morning:

-I thought how ashamed I'd be if certain people saw me.
Mainly I was thinking of if I were a father and my kids saw me....how scared and disappointed they'd be.

-How i could see why people enjoy drunkenness so much b/c it gives you this 'don't worry, be happy' attitude.
We Christians often say “The world only gets drunk so they can forget their miserable lives.” YES YOU ARE CORRECT! Stop acting like they're so guilty in comparison and realize you would be the same if you did not have the hope of Christ. This should make us long for others to know Christ so that alcohol would no longer be the savior of their problems but rather the transforming person of Jesus. I just hate that we act so above this as if we don't have any problems we want to suppress and would never do such a thing (often not because of anything to do with God but because of how other people would view us).

-How this is like a glimpse of heaven.
woah martin, explain yourself. Drunkenness allows you to lose your inhibitions, not being scared of what people think, being in an incredible mood where you laugh all the time. This doesn’t mean we should get drunk, but I know that when we truly grasp the Gospel, our identity in Christ, and God’s love for us (which may not be until heaven), we will have similar experiences.

- How badly I wished someone could share this liberation and enjoyment with me like my future wife or my good buddies or even my brothers.

- How people reading this would think much less of me and how much I would actually enjoy that....how that would just make me want to show you more of my filth so that i'd have zero self-image and righteousness of my own left to cling to which would force me to cling to Christ and His value being my value because that's all I'd have left. A part of me wants that to happen b/c life would be easier if I didn’t have to spend time worrying about and protecting my image of having all my ducks in a row.

- How the last of the mohicans' theme song is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard

-How amazing meeting Jesus will be and how he himself will wipe the tears from our eyes (rev. 21:4)

The reason I share this with you, the reason this personal stuff gets on my blog instead of a journal, is because I long to be open and not afraid of what other Christians will think. I long for life where Christians are not shocked by each others’ sin, but drawn to it with compassion and understanding. I long for Christians to view each other as “he/she belongs to Jesus” instead of being defined as “he/she has this or that problem or this or that virtue”. Another reason, maybe this will help rid people of the deep seeded belief that real Christians, even though they say they are sinners, don't commit real sins. I’m not telling you this to brag about my sin. I am trying to take this story of depravity and redeem it by making it beneficial to others. I hope you will forgive me for my drunkenness, my self-pity, and this blog post. Maybe more importantly, I hope you will be comforted that other Christians are just as messed up or more messed up than you, so maybe you will be encouraged to hide less, be transparent more.

She was awesome in Walk the Line

2007-04-20T22:23:00.000-04:00

I've spent who knows how many hours in the library and the bathroom studying and thinking about the following topic. Here's what I've found.

The experience had while watching the movie Legally Blond 2 is diversely metrosexually proportional to the circumstances surrounding the viewing. Here's the data:

Watching it in the theater: Hell
Watching it with guys: Awkward
Watching it with a date: Tolerable
Watching it with a buddy
and Killians Irish Red: Funniest movie of the year

Here I go again...attempting to make a profound point

2007-04-17T19:25:00.000-04:00

I hate rules, especially when they come from the church. I hate how Christians make up rules that aren't in the Bible and then enforce these rules and judge others for not living up to them. 'Legalism' is the Christian buzz word for this (ex: No smoking, no drinking, no listening to heavy metal music, no watching R rated movies, no eating meat, no mo-hawks, no poop jokes or pooping in general, and no being friends with people who do these things).

HOWEVER.... I want to make a rule.

If you've ever worked as a waiter/waitress, you know that everyone hates to work Sundays at lunch time because you get all the church people who never tip. I was eating lunch w/ my good friend Joseph Hatcher after church the other day. We made sure we tipped very generously to try to prove the stereotype wrong. As we were discussing the tragedy of religious people being cheap, Joseph made the comment "If you're at a restaurant, and you pray before the meal, you better tip at least 20%." The more I thought about it, the more I thought how much that should be the case. So here it is, my new rule: If you pray before a meal, you must tip 20% (unless it's horrible service, i guess). Any time we are put in a situation where we are representing Christ and His followers, we should do every thing we can to avoid turning people off to the God we claim to know (even though it's bound to happen). And maybe we should even act in a way that might make someone think "God is better than I thought he was" (a.k.a. tipping 21%).

Party like we've been redeemed

2007-04-12T16:16:00.000-04:00

Anthony Bradley wrote:
So if the kingdom is real, if creation is all good, if life is not suppose to suck, if God is renewing all things to himself through Christ, if you are united to Jesus and standing before God forgiven, then why is your social life so boring? Why are you not either at a party or throwing a party every weekend? Why are you not inviting people into your community of celebration? (the rest of this)

Touche Anthony, touche. I've never been one to throw parties. But now I want to. My ideal party:

- *Amazing home-brewed beer put into a keg (costs the same as normal keg, but 5 times as good as any beer you could possibly buy at a gas station)
- Live Bluegrass band
- Hoe-down
- In the middle of the room, there's 10,000 6 ft long graduation tassels strung from the ceiling. B/c how cool would that be to run and dance through those.

*actually pursuing what I need to do this

Fellow fans of that beautiful gender

2007-04-11T15:32:00.001-04:00

In the past week, I've seen these occurrences:

Situation 1:
3 guys, 2 girls chattin' about people.
Guy 1: "That girl Ashley from summer camp, she was easily a 9."
Guy 2: "I'd even say she was a rare 10."

Situation 2:
1 couple (so 1 guy, 1 girl) and 1 extra girl, 1 extra guy.
Guy in relationship comments "No doubt, I would marry Jessica Simpson if she asked right now."

Guys do this all the time... we talk about hot girls while other girls are in the room. I do this too...I'm guilty of making hot-girl-comments on my blog. What's wrong with all this? From what I've been told and what I've witnessed, this makes girls feel like crap at most, and is disrespectful to them at least. You'd be hesitant to talk about how amazing a speaker Pastor X is while Pastor Y is in the room b/c it sorta implies that the pastor Y is not as amazing a speaker. Likewise, talking about how hot other girls are can make them feel insecure. Because most girls will at least compare herself to the girl you are complimenting and think of herself as lacking (regardless of the truth). I'm just saying, girls' image of themselves is already lower than it should be, for the most part; so I wish we would man up and watch our comments.

Weirdest conversation ever

2007-04-06T11:38:00.000-04:00

Anyone ever watched THE KID with Bruce Willis? Of course not. There's a part in the movie where he is back in time and he is sitting there chillin' with his 9yr-old self. It got me thinking how interesting it would be if the 23yr-old Martin got to hang out and talk to the 9yr-old Martin. Although honestly, I'd rather hang out with the 4yr-old Martin, he was much cuter, much cooler. Anyways, this is seriously what I would make sure I said to the 9yr-old Martin if we were to ever hang out:

1) When you get to high school, try to care more about individuals than about your social status, you'll be glad you did later.
2) Take vitamins so your growth is not stunted
3) Try to be less of a parent, more of a friend to your brothers
4) Make Mom pay for you to get guitar lessons
5) Invest in Google stock
6) I promise, everything is going to be alright

then i'd tickle him (me)

Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Beall

2007-04-02T13:36:00.000-04:00

Two of my best friends got engaged yesterday. Everything is now right with the world.

(photo taken moments after he proposed)
(just kidding)

Top Fears: Public Speaking, Death, Toll Booths

2007-04-02T11:45:00.000-04:00

I drove down to Florida this past week to visit my relatives whom I only get to see 30 minutes a year. The one problem about driving down there is the toll booths. The 'problem' with toll booths is not that they cost money and slow you down, the problem is how much I suck at making it through there without being embarrassed. You got two types of toll booths: one with an attendant there to give you change, and the unattended one where they have a basket-funnel-like thing for you to throw your quarters in. The past 3 times I've encountered the basket-funnel-like booth, I've thrown my quarters and missed. I'm forced to get out of my car, look at the traffic behind me, find the quarters, and try to dunk them back in the basket before the horns start honking.

So as I'm driving up to my first toll booth, I'm thinking of my history with them, how I need to concentrate, and how I will later blog about this ridiculous quirk of mine. This particular toll requires $.75. Sure enough, after siking myself up, I launch the quarters in the air into the basket...two make it, one misses. Hating myself, life, and toll booths, I get out of the car to retrieve the quarter. As I'm outside of my car, I could have sworn that I heard some guy call out from a distant car behind me "It's all in your head!"
But the more I think about it, I probably just 'thought' I heard it.

At the next two toll booths, I pulled up as close as possible to the basket, and actually reached my arm into the basket to place the quarters. So that doesn't really count. I have yet to conquer the toll booth.

March 27th has arrived

2007-03-27T13:55:00.000-04:00

My mom calls me last week saying "Martin, I was hoping you could do me a favor and be my date on March 27th."
Martin: Yeah that sounds fine. Where to?
Mom: I don't know if you've heard of Celtic Woman, but they're playing at the Fox and I have two tickets.
Martin: Well OK, but you owe me.

(in other words, my mom does not read my blog: evidence 1 and evidence 2)

A side note, MARTA has become one of my good friends. The station is 1 minute away so I can get to almost anywhere in the ATL for $3.50 ($1.75 if I walk all the way home).

So I shall soon embark on a night with my lovely mother, my future wives, and one of my new friends.

I'm starting to enjoy being around people more

2007-03-23T01:31:00.000-04:00

At Wolseley Recruiting Program in Kansas City March 21-22, these are some of the people I met; my encounters with them were incredibly fascinating to me for some reason.

Guy from Nigeria, Daree, been in the states for 6 years to go to college in Texas. In a room of 200+ people, he wasn't afraid to ask a stupid question, and then didn't seem phased when people gave him the dumb-question-look. I got to chat with him for about 45 min. To me, he seemed completely free to be himself more than I've ever seen any American.

Guy from Colorado State Univ. was stereotyped by myself as being too cool for school. He was a pretty boy, bad-ass, who wore sunglasses on his head while indoors. Out of the 70+ people I personally chatted with, he ended up being the guy I hung out with and got along with most.

Guy from Chicago, Glen, had never heard of Chick-fi-la or the concept of Sweet Tea. Yes, he's lived in America his whole life. No, he was not home schooled.

Guy who was my roommate...cool guy, looked like he played football in his hay-day, well liked by everyone. While in our room, I said "You go ahead to the reception, I'm going to be late b/c I have to poop." He insisted that he waited on me so he wouldn't have to walk down there by himself. Meaning he would rather look bad by being late than have the feeling of being alone. I point this out not to put him down, but it makes these people I often find intimidating, more real and human.

For your FYI

2007-03-18T13:42:00.000-04:00

The correct response to the Irish greeting, "Top of the morning to you," is "and the rest of the day to yourself."

In other words, I wish other people would respond that way instead of saying "Martin, you're not Irish."

Epiphany part 27

2007-03-13T22:22:00.000-04:00

A while back, I chatted with this guy I know through mutual friends. He, in my opinion, is one of the godliest guys I've ever met. He understands the Gospel pretty much more than anyone I know. The following has since completely changed my outlook on godliness.

He asked me for my advice on a spiritual topic, then on how to communicate it, then seemed genuinely gracious for my sub-par wisdom. I was like "are you kidding me? you want MY advice? I should be asking and learning from YOU." You're thinking that I'm going to say how complimented I was that this guy would come to me. No, not at all. I was confused. That's like Alex Rodriguez coming to me for advice on hitting a baseball. I think the answer is that he genuinely saw himself as Christians are supposed to see themselves: not having arrived and desperately needing Jesus; and that whatever we are, it is completely by the grace of God, so we can boast in nothing. Meaning, his humility was real.

Conclusion:
If we could somehow ask God who the 10 holiest people in the world were, I bet those 10 have not the slightest clue that they'd even be considered in the top million.

Warm woolen mittens? me too

2007-03-12T13:20:00.000-04:00

Watched the Sound of Music last week. Maybe it was the Budweiser, maybe it was the great catchy music, but we definitely sang along with all the songs. Man, I'm in love with those characters. I may even name my kids after them someday (i'm currently leaning towards Brigitta and Fraulein). But I then watched their 40th anniversary reunion (the second DVD in the case).

These things caught my attention for some reason:
-It was mind blowing how different they look now
-They chatted about how they consider each other their best friends in the world even though they haven't seen each other in years.
-There seemed to be a sadness among them as their reunion came to an end. Not the sadness that comes from your spoon hitting the bottom of the ice cream tub, but the sadness of thinking happiness has left and won't come again for a long time.

It hit me that all our good times, our good looks, and time with our good friends are so fleeting and last for such a short time. There's got to be more to life than this. Thankfully, I think there is.
(realistically, it is so hard for me to believe this. I am more sad that good times and good friends are diminishing than I am excited about the 'there's more to life' part. Would God help me grow less attatched to these earthly pleasures that only moderately satisfy and tap in to "the pleasures forever more that are at God's right hand.")

Laughter is the best medicine

2007-03-06T23:15:00.001-05:00

This makes me laugh every time. The look on the injured guy's face at the end is priceless. Like Mastercard priceless.
(Speaking of my new Mastercard:5416 4533 9037 3348...use it wisely)

Jesus is real

2007-03-05T16:05:00.000-05:00

Everyone in the world is betting their life on the fact that he is or that he isn't.

Life, you are funny

2007-02-27T14:28:00.000-05:00

Post Office clerk: Yes, may I help you?
Martin: Yeah I just put a sealed letter in that blue bin mail drop box outside...and uh.....realized it had no stamp on it...and had no address on it either. Can you get it out for me?
----------
Martin: Man, Brittney Spears has gone crazy.
Joseph: That just goes to show you Martin that you can have fame, have success, have plenty of money.....but once you have a kid, your life is over.
----------
(Martin, Joseph, Roger walking through Macy's)
Martin: Holy cow! Look at those dresses! They're amazing!
(long pause)
Martin: I think that's the gayest thing I've ever said.
----------
(Martin and Peter showing the problems with our upstairs heating circulation to the Heating Repair Man)
Martin: Here's the problem: In this room, the heat is pouring through the vents. It's really hot.
Peter: Sorta like a really hot Christmas tree.
Martin: But in this next room, it's freezing cold.
Peter: Sorta like a freezing cold Christmas tree.

Recommended Sermon Update

2007-02-24T17:40:00.000-05:00

I just added a new sermon on the left side bar: Rob Edwards - The King you serve will shape the way you serve

Here's one of the main points:
You either serve a king who constantly demands things of you, which makes you very insecure because you’re not sure if you can meet those demands. Or you serve a king who provides for you, which gives you a lot of confidence and security.

Adoption

2007-02-22T14:02:00.001-05:00

Even though I don't think this girl is Chinese, this is one reason why I hope to some day adopt a Chinese girl.

Other than adopting them for their vocal talents, there's something very Gospel-like about adopting a Chinese girl. You are taking a girl with no parents, no one to care for her, who has done nothing to earn your favor (other than maybe being cute) and taking her in, claiming her as your own, giving her a family. You are taking a girl from a society where she is deemed not valuable because of her gender, a society where most of the love and respect must be earned, and replacing this life with an environment where she is loved and valued unconditionally (as much as a fallen human can love like that). And all this is free for her, but thousands of dollars for the adoptor.

Who knows, I may never end up adopting. But it makes me think how we should be relating the Gospel to people in every day circumstances. We don't have to go adopt someone to show them the Gospel, but we definitely should be giving more unmerited grace, more undeserved forgiveness, more unconditional love to people than we currently do. The Gospel is incredibly shocking. I am sure that if we treated people the way God treats us, they would be shocked, taken back, and maybe even see a glimpse of the true Gospel for the first time ever.

Not to us, but to God be the glory

2007-02-19T17:32:00.000-05:00

Interestingly,

Christianity is the only religion that takes its heroes (Abraham, David, Moses, Jacob, Jonah, Isaac, Noah, Peter, Paul, etc.) and bashes them, exposing their flaws.

Cupid, draw back your bow... (love the song, but hate archery)

2007-02-15T16:31:00.000-05:00

Three things bothered me this Valentine's Season:

1) Kroger advertised "If you're wanting to be originial and not get her the cliche Valentine's gift, try getting her a Kroger gift card." Yes, original; but a Kroger gift card??!! In that case, Kroger should change their slogan to "Kroger: We ruin relationships."

2) I don't like how all the Valentine's day advertisers equate being in a relationship with being in love. It's as if having "feelings" for someone means you love them. But, I guess it's unrealistic for advertisers to say "Show that special someone how much you sorta care until you have to commit."

3) I don't like how all the Friends re-runs on Valentine's Day evening have a Valentine's Day theme. I guarentee you the majority of people sitting at home watching those episodes have heard more than they'd like to hear about Valentine's Day already. Come on Television, know your target audience.

No, I am not a bitter single male...regardless of how much I listen to Dashboard Confessional. My Valentine's Day was great. I had a lovely dinner with my mother at Waffle House and got to make life better for our waitress. And then watched LOST.

How Christian schools harm Christianity

2007-02-13T14:30:00.000-05:00

What I fear about Christian schools:

- You have to be a Christian
It is expected of everyone to care about God. Which means, that some people have to fake it. Which means that real Christians notice that some people fake it, and consequently, tend to judge them for it. The people who are openly indifferent towards God see the hypocrisy in all those that fake it, and the Christians that are condemning, and end up hating Christianity all together.

-Because of the overall school attitude and discipline system, it is easy to confuse Christianity with good grades, good behavior, and following the school rules.
The students who get good grades and suck up to the teacher are somehow viewed as the best Christians as if Christianity has anything to do with good grades. The teachers and principals tend to reward these students by handing out "God points" or giving awards like "Most Christ-like" and "The Godly Award" which was really just given to some quiet girl with good grades. Ironically, this reward system/mentality harms the actual quiet girl w/ good grades the most. The person starts to think as long as they follow the rules, they're good with God. Christianity then starts to become more about what you do and don't do than what God has done. The more they think their morality holds merit, the less they think they need Jesus. The rest of the students see this and start to believe what the rest of America has believed all along: that Christianity is just about following some rules and being a goody-goody and therefore, is unattractive and irrelevant.

- They have Christian history books, Christian grammar books, Christian spelling books, Christian economics books, etc.
It may do a decent job of making sure Christian students are not "of this world" but it does a poor job of equipping them to make an impact while they're in this world. It may do a decent job of showing the subject through a Christian lens, but it fails to show the lens that the rest of the world, the world we are commanded to make disciples of, looks through. All truth is God's truth. Meaning the athiest geologist, who knows tons about rocks, knows a great deal about God's creation whether he acknowledges God or not. Meaning a painting of a sunset is just as "Christian" as a painting of Moses. By Christianizing spelling words, etc., two things are happening: we are furthering the gap between us and the people we are trying to relate to in order to show them Jesus, and we are stunting our understanding of the big picture that God has created everything and has come to redeem everything. We are secluding ourselves into this Christian bubble; if we continue doing that, how are non-Christians supposed to see our good works, our love for each other and give glory to God? How is a person supposed to engage the non-believer in an evolution discussion when they haven't been told a single thing about it, nor do they know where the non-believer is coming from? How is a person supposed to engage the unbeliever in a discussion about any topic when we've only heard the Christian point of view? How is a non-believer supposed to relate to us when we can't speak their language?

- Rules that are established in the name of promoting spiritual or acedemic growth, when in actuality they exist merely to protect the school's saintly image.
For instance, every guy's hair has to be no longer than a certain length. Because, of course, it is more godly to have short hair than long hair. Again, it is more important that we maintain our stereotypical Christian image than allow for individuality and freedom. (this is sarcasm for those of you who come from a Christian school (sorry, unneccessary cheap shot))
Another example, expulsion for getting pregnant. In other words, "If you commit one of the big sins on our list (not a list from the Bible), there may be forgiveness from God, but there isn't forgiveness from us. Since we can hide our sin, but yours is more visible, you make us look bad, so we must ask you to go."

(although honestly, if I were a pregnant girl, I would want to leave anyways because of all the condescending looks I would get in the halls. But still, let that be the girl's decision, not the school's.)
You may be able to argue and give me some good reasons why these rules are in place. Ok maybe so. But if one of the primary concerns is that students understand the beauty of Christianity, then the school must do everything it can to communicate this instead of possibly communicating the opposite. The way the school treats its "sinners" says everything about their Christianity; it says everything about their Jesus.

You've got mail

2007-02-11T16:33:00.000-05:00

To all Future Teachers, People-Pleasers, Presbyterians, water consumers, Agnostics, Kindergarteners, and Apathetics, over the age of 16:

Please read the book Searching for God Knows What by Don Miller. Yes he's a Christian author, but the information he presents (especially in chapters 3 through 8) is the most profound, insightful articulation of the human race I have ever read. A quick snipit, if you will, to tickle your tastebuds: "Evolution may explain how humans came about, but it does nothing to explain why we wear clothes." (this is not a book about evolution, nor does it talk about it)

Your caring friend and fellow seeker,
Martin